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A Ghost At Host
It all took place in a quiet room
Of a newlywed bride and her groom,
A lamia showed up at that night,
A bad timing and the worst site.
Fury stirred up and messed the place.
To carve grief on everyone's face;
The bodies, ripped off, blew the air,
The blood awfully sullied everywhere.
It stained the quiet, younger dreams.
With endless mourns and awful screams.
The cops, searched, yet no clue they'd find
The vampire left no grounds behind.
No owl to know when, how, or why
Or what's the aim or who's the guy.
But the newlyweds were badly maimed
At least that's what the media claimed.
The bodies shattered, but not the souls.
Both were united in a soleful ghost.
With lax limbs and empty skeleton,
The ghost journeyed up to Wiltton.
There it lived in a restless mood.
Before starting revenge for food.
Whenever darkness wore the skies,
Be sure to hear the ghost's loud cries.
I'M BACK FOR MORE... I'M BACK FOR MORE
The ghost chased every single home.
At night, be sure it's up to roam.
The knocking comes so hard and near.
then all would freeze with too much fear.
Do you hear the scratch on the door.
Watch out, or you'd get another gore!
Every now and then you'd hear about
The shattered bodies and awful shouts.
It's blowing outside! The winds shall lead
To another host with lots of greed;
For the ego that once had been lost
More innocents should pay the cost
Revenge is still its at most goal.
"Be it tonight or not at all."
IT'S BACK FOR MORE... I'T's BACK FOR More.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Jordan
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I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and, Poets are humanity when the world lose it.
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neopoet
Wed, 2024-10-16 23:12
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "A Ghost At Host" presents a narrative that is both chilling and engaging, with a clear storyline and consistent theme. However, there are a few areas that could benefit from refinement.
Firstly, the meter of the poem seems inconsistent. While the poem appears to aim for a rhymed quatrain structure, the syllable count varies significantly from line to line. This can disrupt the rhythm and flow of the poem, making it less engaging to read. It would be beneficial to revisit the structure and meter of the poem, ensuring consistency throughout.
Secondly, the poem uses a mix of modern and archaic language. For example, "lamia" and "sullied" are less commonly used in contemporary language, while "cops" and "media" are modern terms. This mix can be jarring and disrupt the atmosphere of the poem. It would be beneficial to choose a consistent language style that complements the poem's theme and setting.
Lastly, the repeated phrase "I'M BACK FOR MORE... I'M BACK FOR MORE" and "IT'S BACK FOR MORE... I'T's BACK FOR More" could be more effectively utilized. The repetition of a phrase can be a powerful tool in poetry, creating a refrain that reinforces a key theme or idea. However, the current phrasing is somewhat vague and doesn't clearly connect to the rest of the poem. It would be beneficial to revise this phrase to more clearly reflect the ghost's motivations or actions.
In terms of imagery, the poem effectively conveys a sense of horror and dread, with vivid descriptions of the ghost's actions and their effects. The narrative is clear and engaging, drawing the reader into the story. The use of direct speech also adds to the immediacy and impact of the poem.
Overall, the poem has a strong foundation and with some refinement in the areas mentioned, it could be even more impactful.
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