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Omaha Beach Landing 1944

Occupied Normandy was rife
with our foe, seeking secret spies.
French Resistance fighters helping
U.S. extracting truth from lies.

News: "Wounds with a languorous heart"
announcing the call to action
D-Day happening in Europe
now readying for all factions

The waters on Omaha Beach
included waves to knock you down
transport ships unloading the first
under fire, some would drown

the ocean waters were infused
running red with blood of the dead
on the shore, our boys fought bravely
scaled the heights showered by lead

by dire odds they claimed the beach
it was the longest day for scores
survivors halved that fateful day
never forget, way of the corps!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Omaha Beach Landing 1944" demonstrates a strong understanding of historical context and effectively uses that knowledge to create a vivid and dramatic narrative. The use of rhyme throughout the poem provides a rhythmic flow that enhances the storytelling aspect of the piece.

However, the poem could benefit from more consistent meter. The varying syllable count in each line disrupts the rhythm and can make the poem feel disjointed. For example, the line "French Resistance fighters helping" has seven syllables, while the following line "U.S. extracting truth from lies" has eight. This inconsistency can be jarring for the reader and disrupt the flow of the poem.

Additionally, the poem could be improved by providing more specific details. While the poem does a good job of setting the scene and describing the overall events, it lacks the personal, intimate details that can make a poem truly impactful. For example, instead of saying "our boys fought bravely", the poem could provide a specific example of bravery to make the scene more vivid and emotional.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more creative use of language. The poem relies heavily on straightforward, literal descriptions, which can make the poem feel flat. By incorporating more figurative language, such as metaphors and similes, the poem could become more engaging and evocative.

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Hello Cat. This was indeed an heroic day. Can I say, and please don't be offended, you could with some subtle, or not, word changes drive home the real horror of it. Tighten it ditch, unnecessary words. For example, the 4th.

Cold waters ran red with blood
from bodies broken and torn
from a hail of red hot lead
as survivors fought gallantly on.

Then another verse depicting the struggle up the beach.
I will also say I didn't much like the first verse.
I rarely comment on works but you write such marvelous stuff I just felt compelled to comment on this one.
Now you can tell me to "duck off". Alex

Thank you for your suggestions and telling me what you think. I really appreciate your input. I can see that I have much work to do on this poem... I will be working on it for a great while ahead. If you can think of anything else, pleas let me know?

I am so glad my works interest you. you have given me my first smile of the day, thank you very much!

so much appreciation, Cat

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