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Tomorrow
A girl looks to tomorrow
And she sees pure
Luminescence
No person
More radiate
She will be sunlight
Peaking through
Windows
At the break of the day
And she will no longer
Be the tomb
Of a mother's regrets
No longer the girl
Who sees self love as vanity
achievement as ego
No longer the girl
Who refers to herself
In third person
To escape the feeling
Of being in herself
Tomorrow will be
A better day
Where I will
Have my moment
In the sun.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2023-02-09 05:54
Second stanza
Masterpiece. That second stanza! Wow! I love, it love, it love it!
Tim
Abby
Thu, 2023-02-09 09:56
Thank you!
Thank you!
"To fly is to fall."
Candlewitch
Thu, 2023-02-09 06:31
hello,
I agree with Tim! my favorite lines are:
And she will no longer
Be the tomb
Of a mother's regrets
that just says so very much! incredible!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Rosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2023-02-09 07:07
Yes!!!
I want to write
…and he will no longer
be the tomb
of a mother’s regrets.
On a little scrap of paper and pin it to my computer monitor. That’s brilliantly said.
So much this!!
Abby
Thu, 2023-02-09 09:56
I love this comment so much.
I love this comment so much. Thank you.
"To fly is to fall."
Seren
Thu, 2023-02-09 09:05
Dear Abby
First of all Hello, I don't think I've read your poetry before but this is brilliant, that second stanza has already been mentioned it's a cracking piece of writing.
Thoroughly enjoyed your poem. Lovely to meet you and find your work I will be sure to keep an eye out for you.
Kind regards Seren/Jayne-Chloe
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Abby
Thu, 2023-02-09 09:57
thank you for commenting. I
thank you for commenting. I appreciate it, and I'm glad you liked the poem!
"To fly is to fall."
Mr joghe
Fri, 2023-02-10 00:18
Great poem
My favorite line...'Tomorrow will be
A better day
Where I will
Have my moment
In the sun.'
Everyone is optimism that tomorrow will be fine.
"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."
Clentin
Sat, 2024-08-31 06:27
Very nice poem, liked it very
Very nice poem, liked it very much. Just started to read your poems. Many great lines in this poem.