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Factory Reset
It breaks me
To see you
Drowning in
A shallow pool
Of doubts
You hide
So no one
Sees a
Flawed
Operating
System
Oh, I wish
I could
Factory reset
Your mind
To erase
Corrupt files
Your ability to
Go on when
Most trip
Over shadows
Gives hope
To souls
That were on
Their last sip
I beg you to
Pour out worries
Till the clouds
Flee from
The sun
Fear is
Just a fool
With a
Megaphone
So tonight,
Steal his power
As you step onto
An elevator
That takes
You to peace
Here is
A secret
Not found
In the manual:
Fear thinks
I am your
Worst enemy
Shh! Know
In my silence
I love me
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2024-08-06 22:30
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Factory Reset" employs an interesting blend of technological and emotional language to convey a message about the struggle with self-doubt and fear. The use of technology as a metaphor for mental and emotional states is a unique approach that could be further developed.
In the first two stanzas, the poem introduces the subject's struggle with self-doubt. However, the transition from the first to the second stanza could be smoother. The sudden shift from "drowning in a shallow pool of doubts" to "flawed operating system" is a bit jarring. Perhaps, introducing the technological metaphor earlier or more gradually could help with this.
The third stanza, where the speaker expresses a wish to "factory reset" the subject's mind, is a powerful image. However, it might be beneficial to explore this metaphor further, perhaps by detailing what the "corrupt files" are or how they affect the subject.
The fourth stanza is a bit unclear. The phrase "most trip over shadows" is somewhat ambiguous. It could be interpreted in several ways, and it's not clear which interpretation is intended. Clarifying this could strengthen the poem.
The final stanza introduces a new idea - that fear perceives the speaker as the subject's enemy. This is an intriguing twist, but it feels a bit disconnected from the rest of the poem. It might be helpful to weave this idea in earlier or develop it more fully to ensure it doesn't feel out of place.
Overall, the poem has a strong concept and some powerful imagery. With some refinement and development, it could be even more impactful.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
Wed, 2024-08-07 14:55
Factory Reset
Hello, Paul,
Great title - how I wish we could reprogram our minds to ignore our doubts and fears. "Fear is just a fool with a megaphone." Very relatable and clever. I'll remember that line!
Thank you!
L
Apostolos "Paul...
Thu, 2024-08-08 15:41
Thank you Lavender
For stopping by
Rula
Thu, 2024-08-08 15:33
Use of metaphor
At its best.
Quite compelling theme and true raw feelings .
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Rula
Thu, 2024-08-08 15:33
.
.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Apostolos "Paul...
Tue, 2024-08-13 23:58
Thank you Rula
Appreciate you
Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-08-14 09:09
Dear Paul,
a very strong beginning, continuing to the very last line! I would not change a word of it! I enjoyed the theme a lot.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Apostolos "Paul...
Sat, 2024-08-17 00:57
thank you cat
I appreciate your words