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POOHSTICKS
A man once wrote a book for his child
To teach him how to care
simple pearls of wisdom
explained by a silly old bear
A donkey who was gloomy
the eternal pessimist
a tiger who was bouncy
whose exuberance was never missed
a wise old owl
who couldn't spell his own name
an evil rabbit
who tried to kidnap Roo
but Kanga saw right through his plans
as we should see through you
then along came Walt
the Garrick sold him right
now he is churning out films and merchandice
but I think he's lost the light
another American corporation exploits a national treasure
let your children read the books
it will give them greater pleasure
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
About the Garrick club selling the rights to the Winnie the pooh books to Walt Disney corporation
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Wed, 2023-06-28 14:40
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Geezer
Wed, 2023-06-28 11:50
This is...
something that will come home to bite us collectively, [as a nation] in the butt! Reading is a great thing! Yes, technology makes things better, but I see many children who cannot read properly. Sitting quietly with a book on an afternoon, is something that can help a child develop their imagination. If you are sitting watching the scene unfold on a screen, you don't have to imagine it, it is there for you to see. Get your child a library-card, help them find books about things they like. Sit with them and help them with words that they have trouble with. A library card can help teach them responsibility, by getting books back in time and caring for them, so that they don't get damaged. Not to mention that they will have time with you! Your piece is good for the most part, the rhyme is good. I think that what you should be most concerned about is the meter, that will help the flow. Your meter can be adjusted by adding or subtracting words and syllables. For instance:
His exuberance never missed
couldn't spell his own name
Kanga saw right through his plans
rights
churning out films and merchandise
This company exploits our treasures
Help your children read the books
Don't worry about having the [ess] on the end of a word that has a strong sound
it doesn't affect it much, if at all.
As always, my advice is to use it, abuse it, [twist it to meet your own need] or discard it.
Geezer.
.
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