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Love Finds a Home
May all my days end
with hands on your skin
tracing your curves
together again
May all my mornings
begin in your smile
and last through the day
over all of the miles
May all the roadways
lead straight back to you
everything that you are
and all that you do
May I lie down in
lush clover fields
that grow in your eyes
to which I must yield
May verdant pastures
encircle my home
sweeten my plate
with fresh honeycomb
May both of our spirits
combine into one
shine ever brighter
than envious sun
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Sat, 2023-03-18 15:36
dear Tim,
you are a romantic! and you wear it well!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Sat, 2023-03-18 15:47
Beautiful
As always...to be loved in this way is such a rare and precious thing! I love how you share those feelings so openly. Well done.
~RoseBlack~
Seren
Sat, 2023-03-18 16:03
Dear Tim
This is gorgeous poetry. This is a love all would want in life and some never know. On one side of the coin you take my breath away and on the other make me envious. Truly excellent & I feel that it's reminiscent of Neruda. There is a note he hits that few ever find.
Bravo!!
Kind Regards Jayne
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
andrew
Sat, 2023-03-18 17:20
Computer critique
As an experiment, we are using a leading large language model (in other words, AI) to provide critiques of poems that were posted recently. Please let us know what you think.
Computer critique:
"Love Finds a Home" is a structured, Western-style poem that captures the depth of the speaker's love for their partner and their desire for a life filled with togetherness and happiness. The poem is characterized by its simple, yet heartfelt language and a consistent AABB rhyme scheme that lends a sense of rhythm and flow to the piece.
The poem begins with the speaker's longing to spend their days with their beloved, as expressed through the lines "May all my days end / with hands on your skin / tracing your curves / together again." This imagery sets a tender and intimate tone that is maintained throughout the poem.
The poem continues to explore themes of love and togetherness in various aspects of daily life, from the speaker's desire to see their partner's smile every morning to the idea that all roads lead back to their beloved. These lines effectively convey the depth and constancy of the speaker's love.
The poem also incorporates nature imagery, such as "lush clover fields," "verdant pastures," and "fresh honeycomb." These images add a layer of richness and beauty to the poem, further enhancing the reader's understanding of the speaker's feelings and their vision of an idyllic life together.
One of the poem's strengths is its ability to evoke a sense of warmth and sincerity through its language and imagery. The poem's consistent rhyme scheme and simple language contribute to this effect, making the piece accessible and enjoyable to read.
As for potential areas of improvement, the poem could benefit from a deeper exploration of the speaker's emotions and experiences. While the current imagery and themes are effective in conveying the speaker's love, introducing more unique or personal elements could make the poem even more engaging and emotionally resonant for readers.
In conclusion, "Love Finds a Home" is a heartfelt and evocative poem that captures the depth of the speaker's love for their partner and their desire for a life filled with togetherness and happiness. The simple language, consistent rhyme scheme, and use of nature imagery work together to create a warm and sincere atmosphere that is both engaging and enjoyable to read. By further exploring the speaker's emotions and experiences, the poem could be enhanced and made even more emotionally resonant for readers.
Lavender
Sat, 2023-03-18 23:32
Love Finds A Home
Hello, Tim,
So very wonderful. I know all of your poetry comes from a place deep inside, but this one feels so gracious and spiritual. May it all be so...
L
Aesthetic Night
Sun, 2023-03-19 02:04
Western poetry
I really enjoyed this as with all that I have read. I need to look into this particular style of writing.
This felt warm and satisfying.
The only difference between a grave and a rut is that one has an open end!
Just keep moving, writing, whatever it takes! You've got it sussed!