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The Ebb Stove


Now the hopes of a grasshopper are in a hearse
Diminished into carrion debris
Frankenscence at the foot of the stomp
But not relief for capsized leaves bifurcated
And our human lives are stove -candles that ebb

You may pour to earth drinking libations
Swollen jardiniere as a dragonfly swoops in unknown alacrity of the flesh in temerity brevity
Engulfed in the terrain of the darkening sun...

Sad birds sing their string quartets
Russet membrane famished now in a palid resolve
Skeletal, skeleton bare in humus nudity
Tattered unconsolably by starved termites

Demised now the titian sunrise
And utters the rainbow now to darkness
Forcefully vitiated into obfuscation demand
And night! do not concede to darkness

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


As an experiment, we are using a leading large language model (in other words, AI) to provide critiques of poems that were posted recently. Please let us know what you think.

Computer critique:

"The Ebb Stove" is a free verse poem that delves into themes of decay, desolation, and the fleeting nature of life. The poem's language is rich and complex, filled with vivid imagery and unique word choices that create an intense, almost surreal atmosphere. The author's use of enigmatic phrasing and a non-linear narrative style adds a layer of depth and invites readers to engage with the poem on a personal level to interpret its meaning.

The poem begins with a striking image of a grasshopper's hopes diminished into "carrion debris," immediately setting a somber and introspective tone. The mention of "frankenscence" and "capsized leaves bifurcated" further emphasize the poem's focus on decay and the passage of time. The line "And our human lives are stove-candles that ebb" serves as a powerful metaphor, comparing the fragility and transience of human life to the dwindling flame of a candle.

Throughout the poem, the author skillfully employs vivid and unique imagery, such as "Swollen jardiniere as a dragonfly swoops in unknown alacrity of the flesh in temerity brevity" and "Russet membrane famished now in a palid resolve." These images contribute to the poem's melancholic atmosphere and evoke a sense of desolation.

The final stanza introduces the concept of darkness, with the lines "Demised now the titian sunrise / And utters the rainbow now to darkness." This shift from natural imagery to a more abstract concept serves to heighten the poem's emotional impact and reinforces its themes of decay and transience.

One area of improvement could be to clarify the poem's narrative and thematic connections. While the rich imagery and unique word choices are engaging, readers may find it challenging to discern the poem's underlying message. By providing clearer connections between the images and themes, the poem's overall impact could be strengthened.

Additionally, the poem's enigmatic language, while intriguing, may at times be overly complex or obscure. Simplifying or refining some of the more convoluted phrases could help to make the poem more accessible to a wider audience without sacrificing its depth and complexity.

In conclusion, "The Ebb Stove" is a thought-provoking and atmospheric poem that explores themes of decay, desolation, and the fleeting nature of life. The rich and complex language creates a unique and engaging reading experience, while the vivid imagery effectively conveys the poem's somber tone. By clarifying the thematic connections and refining the language in some areas, the poem can be further enhanced and made more accessible to readers.

with the AI's assessment. The word choices and certain segments gave the overall impression of moribundity, and decay.
I felt that a little bit less of enigmatic language would give me a better chance of understanding the underlying subject.
Good poem, but... ~ Geezer.

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