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A Lonely Place

We will be leaving
This fearful palace,
I still remember when I was a little child
I left my mother’s womb
And came to this palace,
I liked it at first sight
Despite people’s objections
I still entered the palace to work hard
The beautiful and grand palace I saw
When I was young is actually not real
Even though there are people coming and going
But the palace is a lonely place
Perhaps everyone is lonely
That is why there is jealousy and suspicions
Because of loneliness
They desire for the king’s approval
And strive to please the king
Because of loneliness,
They desire for wealth
Therefore, hurt others
Because of loneliness
They desire for power
And abuse the authority in their hands
Your demonstration and decisiveness will only make people
Feel that you are a scary stranger.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


These are the enemies of fair society. Human ego is an important survival tool. To have a sense of self is needed to go about the daily process of living. Survival of the fittest as they say. However, we have come a very long way in the last 100,000 years. It’s no longer necessary to kill or be killed so to speak. By and large I feel like the human collective just isn’t ready to suspend the ego enough to work together towards a common goal. We are still very much personal goal oriented by evolutionary design.

Change is coming,

I believe the change is coming? You're really incredible!

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

author comment

I like this poem if only because it embodies human truth. The only thing I can suggest is maybe a little more imagery at the top? But honestly it’s wonderful as is. What a great read.

"To fly is to fall."

Thanks for the critique... More wisdom!

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

author comment
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