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Gods and Geeks
There's this limited generation
of owl killers,
ready to kiss and tell.
The last gods and geeks thrash
off into the wild blue
yonder. Sacrifice everything to join
merchants of death.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
This piece is based on found text. I like its mystery but wonder about an expanded version, too.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Tue, 2023-01-17 08:56
Not much to say...
about the language or the rhythm, pattern or pacing, as it is a rather short piece, but I like it and wondered at where you might have found the [found text] for your inspiration. I know the term of found text, and I'm thinking that it might have been from a college scrapbook or maybe a speech by an environmentalist? I did enjoy it, so go ahead, write an expanded version if it pleases you; although I think that you might just spend the rest of your life on it. ~ Geezer.
.
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Lavender
Tue, 2023-01-17 17:02
Gods and Geeks
Greetings!
I had not heard of found text poetry, but am very intrigued. Did you use multiple sources? I agree there is the flavor of an environmentalist here. Much to like in this mysterious write.
Welcome to Neopoet!
Lavender
Obadiah Grey
Tue, 2023-01-17 13:01
I took 'found text" to mean
I took 'found text" to mean something akin to "off the cuff"
or,,, (now here be I),,, "I just wrote the fucker but don't know if it works"
The title drew me in.
I like the brevity, the mystery, (ambiguity)
and yes it could be expanded upon,
but perhaps with a slightly different format?
Obi.
Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2023-01-17 15:36
Found text
Very interesting concept. Immortalized in a Phish song called “Tube”. It is a hodge podge of lines stolen from their drummer’s journal. There is a certain allure to ambiguity. It will certainly mean something different to every reader. I like it.
Tim