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6
How long have I known you
I feel you in my bones,
always right behind me
I know it, I just can't see
You,
and you are so wonderful and loving
soft kisses on worn out skin
I look,into your eyes
as pure as freshly planted rye
you really love me,
don't you?
In every touch,
am I too much?
not enough?
you alway smile, reassuring
oh, and how
curing it is
your love is felt
My only wish is to melt into
You
what, I wonder, have I ever done to deserve this?
a lottery must have been won
I probably cheated, if that's the case
I haven't the right to see your face
I love you.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2023-01-15 10:23
The deep emotions that you
The deep emotions that you are capable of show here. I have no suggestions of how you can make this better. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
M4GG0TM3NT4L
Sun, 2023-01-15 17:30
thank you so much!!
thank you so much!!
-m4gg0t was here
you could call me soph if you'd like.
The phantom of the opera is there. Inside my mind.
Rosewood Apothecary
Sun, 2023-01-15 14:59
I agree with Geezer
One small thing
“a lottery must of been won”
Should be
“a lottery must have been won”
Or
“a lottery must’ve been won” if you want to keep it phonetically the same.
Otherwise really superb,
Tim
M4GG0TM3NT4L
Sun, 2023-01-15 17:30
noted!!
thanks for the advice :)
-m4gg0t was here
you could call me soph if you'd like.
The phantom of the opera is there. Inside my mind.
Candlewitch
Tue, 2023-01-17 11:29
hello,
I think this is a lovely affirmation of the love you feel!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
M4GG0TM3NT4L
Tue, 2023-01-17 14:29
Thank you!!!
Thank you!!!
-m4gg0t was here
you could call me soph if you'd like.
The phantom of the opera is there. Inside my mind.