Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
A TASTE OF LOVE
Your love is nourishing goodness
I felt highly and gladly satisfied
there's nothing to compare you
glancing on your sparkling eyes
has define the beauty of divinity
your skin deep is a finished line
the ingenuity of God's creation
the smell of grace is all on you
that's why I want to be with you
to stay inhaling your sweetness
honestly, your love has freed me
I'm now sitting on top of the wind
the dominion of love and gladness
has surrounded all over my being
I'm like the wind turbine giving light
©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Lavender
Tue, 2022-11-29 19:21
A Taste of Love
Hello, Jackweb!
A tender poem of gratitude for a lover and their love. How wonderful to feel this way toward someone and write such lovely words: ",,,I want to be with you, to stay, inhaling your sweetness." Very tender. May I suggest "nourishing" instead of "nutritious" in your fist line? It may sound a little more poetic and flow a bit smoother. Also, I would suggest something similar to "freed" instead of "enlarged" in the first line of your final stanza - to also sound a bit more poetic. I know as poets, love is one of our favorite subjects whether we are in love, or not. I hope this poem is truly part of your life.
Thank you,
L
Jackweb
Wed, 2022-11-30 02:22
You're right!
I thought as much. I knew it! Thanks for pointing out esteemed poet!
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Rosewood Apothecary
Wed, 2022-11-30 20:35
Keep it up
More romance from you good sir. I don’t know who she is but this heroine is some muse to inspire this sustained greatness. Last stanza is fire. Excellent poem.
Tim
Jackweb
Wed, 2022-11-30 22:01
Wow
Thanks a bunch for your precious comments.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb