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Mingled
Hair of burnt auburn fire sent
Oscillating by sweet summer wind
Does dance around the sultry bends
Your neck, your shoulders and sparkling skin
Our lips meet with passion kindled
And fires within us begin to roar
Hands on skin and bodies mingled
Together to harkening heights we soar
Satin and Velvet, the warmth from your flame
Beckons, my long lost spiritual home
Wind song and music, I’m calling your name
Spelled in gyrations, projected in moans
Climax, crescendo, most beautiful highs
Began with the simplest look in your eyes
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words:
Something for the wife. A little gift as she returned to work after some paid time off.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2022-07-27 20:27
Wow
Your poem is beautiful .Very easy to picture Just lovely
Chrys
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Geezer
Wed, 2022-07-27 22:31
Awesome gift...
although it sounds more like a reward for you. LoL I like everything about this. the mood the rythym...
I'm sure that she was very appreciative. ~ Geez.
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This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
Rosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2022-07-28 02:11
She
She is receptive to my poetry, art, and musical endeavors. She has used her nursing degree to provide me and our children with a very comfortable life. Every word I’ve ever written about her falls short of her radiance. I wrote a song for her when I first became romantically interested which was a year or two into a friendship we had developed within a larger social group. I had a chance to play it for her back then. She could only reply “you’re awesome.” I believe she knew it was her song right there, a profession of love from some lonely minstrel. That was 18 years and two children ago. We were just dumb kids and maybe we still are but we find new ways to love each other and we try to urge each other to love ourselves with that same flexibility. Happiness is an “inside” job, after all. If we are happy with ourselves only then can we find happiness in others.
Tim
Geezer
Thu, 2022-07-28 08:45
Amen...
I agree. There are no happier relationships than ones built on friendship and if I didn't have an equally happy marriage, I would be envious. Thank your family for sharing you with us; I hope that we get to do that for a long time. ~ Geez.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
Candlewitch
Thu, 2022-07-28 09:15
dear Tim,
I was right when I declared you to be a (Romantic). it is s easy to see why your wife cherishes you. that tells us a lot about her, too! she adores you and is deeply appreciative of your enduring traits. of which you have many. you remind me of Steve and me, lol. fantastic poem.
*hugs, Cat
-
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Thu, 2022-07-28 19:01
Your wife
is a lucky woman. A husband such as yourself is a rarity and it sounds like you both treasure each other as well as your children. A beautiful write!
~RoseBlack~
Rosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2022-07-28 19:16
Lucky
I feel like I’m the lucky one. We don’t have traditional roles. I cook we both clean. She’ll pull over our Stihl MS170 two stroke chainsaw and buck logs after a wind storm. It works most of the time and when it doesn’t we figure out why and we try and come up with a solution we both like. It’s hard ass work by two very committed and emotionally responsible adults. The rewards speak for themselves.
RoseBlack
Thu, 2022-07-28 19:29
If only
Relationships like that are very rare! A true partnership!
~RoseBlack~