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A Woman's Dream
You dreamer, do not coyly pretend
that my passion cannot reach you.
Do not deceive yourself; you are
not secure. Like a shadow cast
by moonlight, I come to you.
Oh—you are asleep? I think not;
for your rapid breathing, the fall
and rise of your exposed breasts,
all give you away.
There is only you in this room.
Are you aware of my presence?
You see, I possess a charm
that allowed me to enter your home
undetected. I bartered my soul
for the spell that made this visit possible,
You are quite lovely, but I must
not trust my eyes alone; therefore,
I touch, follow every curve, each line
of your body, and suddenly—I feel
nails etching my shoulder.
I have discovered your passion,
and now I do not rue the small price
I paid—with my soul.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2021-01-10 10:10
They say that...
confession is good for the soul. You better hope that if the lady's husband or boyfriend comes home; you are not in evidence or you will find that Satan is more than willing to cash you out. LoL This sounds like a dream that many might have; not just a lady. "Seduction is the height of sensuality." I put this in quotes, because I think that someone, somewhere must have said it!
Good writing and the dream lives on. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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VanRyan
Sun, 2021-01-10 13:30
Thanks Geezer;
it seems to me that what a woman dreams in spring time, is often more outrageous than any dream a guy might have. (I have listened in on a tale or two told by ladies. Hair-raising, lol.) Women are no angels--though I treat them as such. Great comment, Sir. Thanks, and your quote is quite on the money.
Van
Ray Whitaker
Sun, 2021-01-10 11:59
Looking at your Lover, when the light is dim
I feel this as a passionate compliment -full of permissions- to feel love.
Excellently written, thank you!
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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VanRyan
Sun, 2021-01-10 13:36
Hello Ray;
that is a great way to look at it; thank you, sir. I appreciate your comment.
Van
Asche Keegan
Sun, 2021-01-10 13:12
Dear Van,
Sensuous imagery, and I can imagine this fleeting form, hands invisible in the moonlight shining through them, standing over his lover's bed.
You could maybe alter your title to pinpoint that more clearly, such as "My Lover's Dream."
I also wonder why he didn't barter his soul for the possibility of having her in full! xD Great work!
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https://meanderingbackward.blogspot.com
"The true alchemists do not turn lead into gold; they turn the world into words." -William H. Gass
VanRyan
Sun, 2021-01-10 14:01
Hi, Asche;
so, are you saying I haven't gone quite far enough in my exercise of eroticism? Oh, the title I could easily change, that's true; but beyond that what I had bartered for . . . I have only one soul to pawn off. Just kidding, dear lady. Thank you for reading and the nice comment. Van