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Just a Few Minutes Ago
It is sweet
the way the trees
watch the cloud
as it ambles by.
They close their eyes
and bow their heads
as if in reflection,
remembering the way
the sun felt on their faces,
recalling how bright
the world was
just a few minutes
ago.
Style / type:
Free verse
Editing stage:
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Comments
Lavender
Tue, 2020-05-12 13:02
Hello, Teddy
Typo corrected, thank you so much! Also, thanks for your comments and reading.
Lavender
Lavender
Tue, 2020-05-12 13:05
Hello, Jerry
Thank you for reading! I appreciate your thoughts!
Lavender
c lynn brooks
Tue, 2020-05-12 14:37
lavendar
may I suggest you use the same number throughout your poem Your first line is plural (trees) then you have a single cloud in the 3rd line
then your 4th line would read as they
but I'm thinking you just made a typo and added s to trees change it to one tree and the rest of the poem follows
plus it is so much easier to change one letter lol
I like this piece good concept
Chrys
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Lavender
Tue, 2020-05-12 17:20
Hello, Chrys
Thank you for reading and your suggestions! I actually sat one morning in the woods and watched a single cloud roll by - it was so silent and still as if each tree bowed. I'll certainly consider your suggestion, but I'd like to keep the feel of that solitary shadow.
Thank you for reading!
L
c lynn brooks
Tue, 2020-05-12 17:28
lavendar
yes of course then just omit the s from treedsand there you have everything is singular
again i love the concept of this poem
Chrys
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Rula
Tue, 2020-05-12 14:11
What a reflection!
dear lavender. I especially like the trees bowing to the clouds.
One small suggestion if I may. I thought you don't need the word slowly as amble already means to go at a slow, easy pace. Just an opinion, you know better what suits your poem
Already enjoyed ,;-)
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Lavender
Tue, 2020-05-12 17:23
Hello, Rula
Wonderful suggestion, and I have removed "slowly."
Thank you for reading!
L
Gracy
Tue, 2020-05-12 15:56
Lovely, yet sad reflection,
Lovely, yet sad reflection, Lavender. I agree that you should put all in plural or single. Better plural, IMO. And remove "slowly".
Enjoyed, bring on more.
*
*
*
"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
Lavender
Tue, 2020-05-12 18:06
Hello, Gracy
I wrote this about a year ago, and at that time it felt reflective, but not sad. The poem felt especially sad when I posted it earlier today - haven't a clue why.
Thank you so much!
L
Geezer
Wed, 2020-05-13 08:25
Like Jerry...
this put me in a mood to wonder about if the trees really think of how they fit in with the rest of the world. This is a sign that you have the power to make people think. What more can one ask for? Geezer.
.
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This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Wed, 2020-05-13 09:59
Hi, Geezer
I really like reading and writing poetry using personification, especially with nature. The more I study it, the more I realize our interactions seem to have positive / negative effects. Like Jerry, I think it would be amazing to hear the history of mankind from that 2000 year old tree. I appreciate your thoughts!
Thank you!
L