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Bluebell Woods in Hockley (first poems workshop)
Echo. Ever echoing come
words from the wild wood
drifting, always beckoning
that I should come for good
to the deep and the deepening
dusty silent still
heart, heart of the forest where
the thumping darkness will
find every thought in me
and lay them thick and flat
out on a carpet
of moss and bluebell sat
down, down in the forest,
lost to the mystery
solved and resolved to the silence
ever encircling me.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
OK so I can't find the *very first poem I wrote, it's lost in the stuff that came from the UK. But, this was the first thing i did, and printed out, back in the UK, when I was in my late teens, and first playing around with words. I'd dropped out of English, to study Computing (thanks Dad) and wished I stuck with it. I eventually stuck it up on an early website that I setup, called "Cornered Poetry" ooh bad bad pun, I thought it was so clever.
Anyway, it's as early as it gets for me..way back in nineties world.
Cheers.
Chris.
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
jane210660
Mon, 2017-08-14 11:22
You can tell
it's an early piece of work, there is that sort of brash rawness about it. Poetry trends change too and if I'd read this when you wrote it, I'd have hailed you as the next poetic god.
We've both come on a piece since then, our styles are more subtle and complex.
Yet I can still recognise you in here and I still take my hat off to you.
Jx
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Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
vandiemenspeak
Tue, 2017-08-15 08:12
Well - thanks Jane!
I liked it back then, and i still like it. Students. I thought I was so clever putting the full stop after the first "echo" - oh...visionary! But, that place dose exist, and I walked there, and it's all very real in my memory.
Thank you.
Cheers,
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
jane210660
Tue, 2017-08-15 11:54
My initial comment sounds a bit naff
I didn't mean it was less of a poem for being one of your early ones........ but it is different to your current ones. Jx
------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
vandiemenspeak
Wed, 2017-08-16 07:56
All good Jane..
Taken in the spirit intended, thank you. Can't help feel we were more liberated back then.
Cheers.
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
Obadiah Grey
Mon, 2017-08-14 12:31
I would be quite happy were
I would be quite happy were this my latest work.
Thought the repeat words worked well, and,,, "deep and the deepening
dusty silent still" really like that.
Could almost hear Richard Burton reading it.
Obi.
vandiemenspeak
Tue, 2017-08-15 08:26
Thanks Obi!
That means a bucket load to me, as I love Burton's reading of "Under milk wood" and I know exactly what you mean. Perhaps we can get "golden tonsils" Jess to do a reading.
Cheers.
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
vandiemenspeak
Sat, 2022-05-07 06:16
Hey Obi
It's a different space without Jess and Esker, but I am back on Neopoet, and reading
vociferously - I hope you are still out there.
With care, and appreciation
Christopher Hall.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
Geezer
Mon, 2017-08-14 19:16
I like the...
almost ethereal quality and can see the foggy morning fading off into the sunlit afternoon and then the dusk of the deep wood. Excellent! ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Scatterhatter
Tue, 2017-08-15 06:48
I hope the forest has taken
I hope the forest has taken you
Deep and deeper still
Moss and bluebells
To Soften The fall
vandiemenspeak
Tue, 2017-08-15 08:23
It has, it does..
It's still there I hope (not a housing estate) let me see..
Hmm, it was a small nature reserve, in the Hill above the road into Nottingham from Southwell, that followed the Newark line, it looked like this, although this is a different Hockley(!) but this is what it was like when they were out:
http://hockleywoods.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/bluebells-hockley-woo...
and I used to go up here a fair bit too, which was an inspirational place:
http://www.nottinghamshirewildlife.org/nature-reserves/ploughman-wood/
I've found another woodland down here in Tassie, that gives me a different, re-kindled inspiration.
Thank you
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
vandiemenspeak
Tue, 2017-08-15 08:29
No worries Mark..
Morning, wow! It's 10:22 pm here. Glad it found you in the woods again. There is something very settling about woods I think we all get that. Silence is amplified between the gaps in the creaks and rustles of under-story.
Thanks.
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
Scatterhatter
Tue, 2017-08-15 08:53
I'm inspired!
I'm inspired!
Mt next day off
I'm gone
Into the forest
Let me get lost
No guiding needed
Let lost guide us.....
vandiemenspeak
Thu, 2017-10-05 07:06
Thank you Ms Hatter..
I've been away from NP for too long..and this comment was posted a while ago, I like to reply and thank all who post, so if it inspired you to get lost in my words..then that's great!
Take care,
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
vandiemenspeak
Thu, 2017-10-05 07:12
Thanks Steph!
Glad it was a welcome introduction! It's a long time since I was lost in those woods, but I have since found a new one to get lost in/entranced in.
You''ll find everyone very welcoming and supportive here, and get lots of constructive suggestions for your work, which I will read.
Thanks for the comments, glad you enjoyed.
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.