Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Meshing Haiku
River rises swift
In cold spring morning
Wet snow melting as it falls
The north wind penetrating
Pushing sheets of rain
Over mountain pass
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words:
Meshing Haiku is one that is structured 5-7-5-7-5 and the left and right side can stand alone as individual haiku but work well as a whole
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
alidzain
Wed, 2015-12-30 05:14
Buddha
Its a beautiful poetry but its not haiku since haiku has only 3 lines and follow the format of 5/7/5 syllable counts.. Even if you meshed it up a haiku still has only 3 lines.lol.
Alid
Race_9togo
Thu, 2015-12-31 00:30
Greetings,
and Welcome to Neopoet.
I enjoyed this poem, and I learned a new form, 'meshing haiku"!
I can find no fault; you imagery is great, you have stayed with the form, and it all comes together well.
Good poetry.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
Buddha
Thu, 2016-01-14 22:42
Thank you for your review and
Thank you for your review and encouraging words.
Esker
Wed, 2016-01-13 09:17
awesome
sheets of rain..
been awhile since I heard that
and in a poem
even better!!!
better was I remember seeing
it..working in it and just
having too be in it
thank U