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Minimosity
Momentary bliss
of grace and humility
sparkled in dew drop
no mortal expectation
benevolent expression
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Seren
Sat, 2015-06-13 15:05
oh Raj
Just beautiful what more can i say, what a perfect little poem
Much love biggest hugs Jayne xox ...
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
raj
Sat, 2015-06-13 15:26
so very nice of you Jayne to
so very nice of you Jayne to drop in ...thanks for your read and comment..means a lot...
much love and warm hugs...take care...
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Sat, 2015-06-13 23:21
oh raj
tis lovely like minusculity
lovely seasoned poetry.. tis
raj
Sun, 2015-06-14 03:57
thanks lovedly for the visit,
thanks lovedly for the visit, read and comment..
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Sun, 2015-06-14 09:04
thank u raj_sublime mumbai ocean! u have been wonderful too
you excite me... others only tickle------
Perhaps some day
one day
upon my shoulders flowers you all will lay
when you come to know of my poetic way
I have no hard feelings against anyone
here or any where
all to me are abs dear
like you Ian or Geremia or Jess
I must confess
you are the strungs of a ladder I sway upon
and climb with shaky legs all along
a simple poet
a bard as you honour me
and I feel humbled and anchored to the bottom of the vast any where sea
where will you find a gem
if i say like me
Jess will say again blasphemy
and whinere you
so and so he may also call a bustard or bastard
heaven knows
upon your smiling faces
did Loved glow
and now this all Neopoets know
when Alid, Raj and Jayne know
all must Loved know.
Of course Esker and Snow man do
Those who kicked me
and spiked me earlier too
I like them too
they taught me the baby steps of poetic run
nay climb
now perhaps like them I too shine
but perhaps only
ask MOON MAN and many others who said
Loved blast you!
raj
Sun, 2015-06-14 14:21
you are being very kind with
you are being very kind with your words Lovedly...you are growing in stature as you keep trying and innovating...keep it up...
best wishes and regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Sun, 2015-06-14 16:55
raj sublime
i just learnt the meaning of sublime
i used to think tis some sort of lime
you are really sublime
thanx raj
some day when we meet
under an umbrella at Juhu beach
you may ask me
r u the Lovedly
and smile with me
Sparrow
Sun, 2015-06-14 19:07
raj
Loved this one as is just want to ask if the form was strict:-
Momentary bliss 5
of grace and humility 7
sparkled in dew drop 5
no mortal expectations 7
just benevolence 5
Did you mean to make the last line 7 syllables in the true Japanese form or was it our poetic licence.
It is lovely either way,
Yours, Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
raj
Mon, 2015-06-15 12:07
Thanks Ian for your read and
Thanks Ian for your read and comment. Thanks too for pointing out that syllable count of last line is five instead of seven...I have fixed it now..
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Lonnie
Mon, 2015-06-15 12:33
Great write, raj
Aptly titled, and though succinct, still carries its message with dignity and grace! Very nice work!
raj
Mon, 2015-06-15 12:36
Thank you Lonnie for your
Thank you Lonnie for your time and visit. Your read and comments mean a lot ..
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)