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t i n n e d
wan light
rosehip tea
the clock strikes
the house
is silence
in its mind
the bell
stops its shrill
ringing
of the clocks
face
head
the dreams
come and go
dreamer aloud
speaking
is it a cabaret
a horror
a romance
the tinned
landscape
i know
for me
dreaming awake
exhausted
my tinned thoughts
like paper slips
and cigarettes
keep away
like rain
summoned
like sleep
for some
the clock
like the watch
keeps
hours
what do i keep
awake
for
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Mon, 2014-08-18 17:11
Esker
this has some food for thought.
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lovedly
Mon, 2014-08-18 21:40
question answered
to be tinned
after for
please put a qs mark
like this?
Esker
Tue, 2014-08-19 00:21
...my title was about partitions..preserving...
safety deposit boxes.....farmers would use tinned lined feed boxes to keep away mice..
cities its different....rats chew through anything....ceramic would be the best thing..like
the egyptians did....cant detect this under ground with metal....but tinned boxes for
cigarettes....foodstuffs like the voyages.....
and finally....a fellow i knew who travelled much gave me his tin of offerings
a collection of things he enjoyed as a male...hunting and fishing..hefought
with depression all his life...he really liked my philisophical ramblings at
the construction job...he was one of the best operators i think we had..
politically not stable...had some issues with other things to help him through
his depression and work like all the others...
he lived in cabins whenhe could and jars break....plastic evaporates..the
copolymer chains unbinding.....
ceramic breaks...frost..earth settling..
pretty much need a good storage space..like a dry tomb or a basement
to keep these items in check..
tea tin.....cigarettes came in tins long ago...when weight was not an issue
bisquits...etc......
importance was the intimacy of the objects
the immediate contact with memory and event
i have seen photo albums left in homes
tents..cars swelled up with moisture
destroyed...
a flood..etc..
computers may make it..hardcrivesare fragile
but its only as good as the system thats relevant
like a language..
the old moving chests..the good oneshad a tin
linning....moving as in travel...
that was about it......
lovedly
Tue, 2014-08-19 00:45
sorry
ignorance
Esker
Tue, 2014-08-19 01:14
it does need a question mark..
i wrote it like a regret...like a snarl...
because otherwise i would write
it......Why do I keep awake?
the for..is a waiting.
although for what even i dont
know..
punctuation...i know.
need it one day..
should try t out now that i have time..
thank you..
emeka ozurumba
Tue, 2014-08-19 08:51
esker why don't you try
esker why don't you try writing narrative fiction , from your explanation of the poem , this scene is awesome i loved the images that represented the poems coinage
Esker
Wed, 2014-08-20 04:10
I am....paper versions here.....
people love it so far.....our family was creative writers and homespun poets.
others i know too.....people talk of writing and poetry and painting and the either
cant or dont have the ability.....i do have the ablilities for all and am getting it under
way.....its very healthy and fun....way too many haters out there..time to give good
and love and rainbows....God shall prevail! he gave me this gift....
I have avoided just running on instinct and making use of anyones weakness
with anger and hate.....
writing is great exercise in patience....
blaming gets no writing done
only doing and goodness
thank you!
emeka ozurumba
Wed, 2014-08-20 09:48
you are my man for all
you are my man for all seasons, you are a star among the pack in neopoet, i truly appreciate your poetry