The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Windows Witness" presents a strong narrative with a clear theme of tragedy, love, and hope. The use of metaphor is effective, particularly in the lines "Reality is so fierce, even pain must breathe into a paper bag" and "These words are bandages for wounds only love can heal." These lines evoke strong imagery and emotions.

However, the poem could benefit from more consistent use of imagery and metaphor. For example, the windows are introduced as witnesses in the first stanza, but this metaphor is not fully developed or returned to until the end. Expanding on this metaphor throughout the poem could add depth and cohesion to the narrative.

The line "Love’s been quarantined, too contagious for men who became gods" is intriguing but could be clarified. The metaphor of love being quarantined is clear, but the reference to men becoming gods is less so. Providing more context or explanation for this line could enhance its impact.

The final stanza introduces a hopeful tone, which provides a nice contrast to the earlier stanzas. However, the transition to this tone could be smoother. Consider revising the preceding stanza to hint at this shift in tone, which could make the conclusion feel more integrated with the rest of the poem.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm or meter. While free verse can be effective, the varying line lengths and rhythms in this poem can make it feel disjointed. Experimenting with more consistent rhythm or meter could enhance the flow of the poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I thought this was great men are gods to experience joy and pain. While we're here we do our best to diminish other's pain. That is what I took away from this poem. These are just my thoughts not neccesarily facts. I love the metaphor of men's lives
being aproached as a game of backgammon. I do believe that silence's tears will dry and most if not all will walk away unscathed in the end! I don't mean to make it too simple, but I must or I will also suffer from mankinds ignorance.

Hello, Paul,
Certain words and phrases have very strong meaning within this:
"...pain must breathe into a paper bag."
"...making those with sense stingy with their views."
"...silence's tears finally dry."

I'm not a huge backgammon player, but it seems that something a little stronger than dice from a board game would match up to the power within this poem - something relating to "craps" perhaps, or something similar to the streets? Very raw language and imagery!
Thank you!
L