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Voyage of the Rum Runner…Chapters III and IV (for Candlewitch and Geezer)

III.
Amongst the twisted wreckage
No water could be found
No grog would be had
All potable drink was scuttled
Along with our benefactor
Upon the coral canyon beneath
Many drops now diffuse
into an inhospitable sea
Infinite flagons of taunting thirst
All save one…
Twelve and one hundred crates
Lined the bounds of my sandy prison
Our soggy captain surrendered
His most precious of cargoes

IV.
Bereft of seaworthy craft
Left to slowly desiccate
Below an angry equatorial sun
I employed what options I’d left
Plunged my dagger between lid and crate
Leveraged the top off with a groan
I beheld the vile causation
of my current miserable state
I decide to compound the dire straits
Pulling one bottle and raising it
To black and missing dentition
Molars clench virgin cork
Divorcing it from the demons inside

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
A continuing saga started by Candlewitch and elaborated upon by Geezer. I couldn’t recuse myself hard as I tried.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

as long as you have broken it into two parts, I think that it should be Cat's turn again, and we should keep the chapters short enough so as not to have the problem of dividing it into parts. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

and I have come up with an idea for my next write on this saga, I need to check and see when I am able to post again...

*hugs, (the) Cat

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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An interesting tale for sure, with three fine poets contributing.
Favorite Lines Are:

Pulling one bottle and raising it
To black and missing dentition
Molars clench virgin cork
Divorcing it from the demons inside

I will be looking forward to the next installment from Cat.

~RoseBlack~

I'm working on it now...

always, (the) Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

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