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There Was a Time

Submitted by loved on Sun, 2010-12-12 12:19

There Was a Time

There was a time
When I was a kid,
A dying man
Held my hand,
There was nothing in-between
Except a red rose
Shorn of all petals
As he slowly spoke
Words of wisdom
I dare say
I share at random
That’s what he said to me
So I thought of sharing with thee
As he handed the rose flower
God took away from him all power
Ere he closed his eyes too
He said this to me,
Where his love lay
Twas I to display
The strewn roses of by gone days
Thence he smiled away
But held my hand
Which I remember
Right up to this day

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

loved

Sun, 2010-12-12 18:16

loved's picture

The poem is a consequence
Of some poets comment
Who didn’t appreciate?
The meaning of love
Conveyed by that dying soul
Who had a hope of living?
Through a night
With a young one
Ere his demise
But as the girl
Was a child
Perhaps his couldn’t rise
And
His desire was still
Like a fire ere
His final demise
The young girl simply smiled.

This is half reality
Half imagination
Two half- truths
Hence perhaps
This question

loved

author comment

Eduardo Cruz

Sun, 2010-12-12 18:24

Eduardo Cruz's picture

I read this all ready on my page, but I read it again, it truly does move me deep inside
this is beautiful and stunning

wait a minute. is this posting two poems in one day, gees that's slick, Hahaha.
just kidding.
this is my favorite poem to date of yours
thanks for sharing such a jewel!
always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

loved

Sun, 2010-12-12 19:38

loved's picture

Lest Andrews
Catches me again
This happened to be perhaps
A second one the same day,
But a few seconds away.

I’m glad you liked it now,
The dead man must have
Turned in his grave
Satisfied,
How I remember him still
Oh Lord
Whilst alive
He didn't kill
That was Lords will

loved

author comment

loved

Sun, 2010-12-12 19:38

loved's picture

Lest Andrews
Catches me again
This happened to be perhaps
A second one the same day,
But a few seconds away.

I’m glad you liked it now,
The dead man must have
Turned in his grave
Satisfied,
How I remember him still
Oh Lord
Whilst alive
He didn't kill
That was Lords will

loved

author comment

loved

Mon, 2010-12-13 17:36

loved's picture

Thou Speakest
The truth I know
And in the realms of Shakespearean time
I should have been an equivalent
But when some one does challenge
I take it as one
And then my mind rises above
Misty, snowy deadening clouds
And disasters rouse my mind
And routs those who think
Loved doesn’t accept challenge
And to the doldrums and garbaged time
They relent,
As a message has been sent
Don’t repent
Lovely Honey hath been God sent
To upon humanity shower
Words of powered
And
So rises the phoenix in me
And
This is the outcome friend
Shirley
That you can see.

loved

author comment
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