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Sweet Torture
Orgasmic,
Nuclear melt down,
Stark raving lunacy.
Limbs shake with seismic
Intensity.
Body craves you, like heroin.
You'll be the end of mortality,
I can't release you, need to,
Rap myself around you.
On the edge of a precipice,
And I want to fall.
Sweet torture .
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Hooded Stranger
Fri, 2010-12-17 06:34
Lou
Lou,
how did I miss this one?
You managed to capture the 'frustrations' well in this piece. Great title too!
"I can't realise you, need to" - should that be 'release'?
Wanting to fall off the precipice....brilliant!
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
lou
Fri, 2010-12-17 08:14
HS
Glad someone finally found this one in the wilderness LOL.
Well you know i'm the typo queen LOL
thanks HS
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Hooded Stranger
Fri, 2010-12-17 08:27
Lou
Dear typo Queen,
you need to remove the space between 'my' and 'self' and make it one word.
Lol!
It was out in the wilderness, but it needs to be brought back into the stream.
regards,
HS
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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.