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Struggle
Your love asphyxiates, agitating
Stemming my breathe.
I'm struggling for air.
You apply more pressure,
an arm across my neck.
I'm gasping for freedom.
Suffocating, squeezing so tight,
You're afraid to release me,
Scared I'll take flight.
You overwhelm me.
I’m dizzy and confused,
Losing consciousness.
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I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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West London
Favorite Poets
Pablo Neruda, Jack Kerouac, Alan Ginsberg, D.H Lawrence, Jim Morrison's lyrics
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Comments
lou
Mon, 2010-12-13 15:48
shirl
Not sure you would want such a violent, stifling relationship.
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
author commentHooded Stranger
Mon, 2010-12-13 16:01
Lou
Lou,
I am not sure about this one:
Do fingers 'bite' into flesh?
Fingers in the neck, but then an arm...an awkward stance I can't quite make the vision.
Maybe the last line should be 'I lose consciousness'.
This appears violent, but you use the word 'affection'...maybe it's just me, but this poem gives me clouded images and feelings.
Sorry mate, just confused with this one,
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
lou
Mon, 2010-12-13 16:23
HS
HS
The violence is a metaphor for a styfling relationship. When i say biting into neck, flesh im talking about the impressions someone's fingers would make.
And when i say affection, i mean his idea of love is misguided.
i'll look at the poem again.
Thanks,
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
author commentlou
Tue, 2010-12-14 01:54
0h
This poem is kicking my butt, can't get to work aaaarrrg
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
author commentEduardo Cruz
Tue, 2010-12-14 03:32
Lou
all I can say is "RUN!!"
great write, to me it was sort of funny that we can get into situations like this, even though we're grown.
Always Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
lou
Tue, 2010-12-14 05:54
Eddie
So true we never really learn.
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
author commentmand
Tue, 2010-12-14 06:13
Hi Lou
Love - a strange and controversial subject. Not sure anyone truly knows what it is. Claiming to love someone but stiffling them to the point of suffocation seems to be obsession and insecurity - just my opinion.
The trouble is the more stiffling they are the more you want to pull away and it becomes a vicious circle. I think you aptly describe this as a struggle.
Very thought provoking poem
Love Mand xxxxxxx
lou
Tue, 2010-12-14 07:29
Mand
thank you
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
author commentlou
Tue, 2010-12-14 11:36
Joe
glad you like it.
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
author commentKailashana2
Tue, 2010-12-14 08:19
Who's the dirty bastard? I
Who's the dirty bastard? I'll knock his lights out!
;-)
lou
Tue, 2010-12-14 11:39
Anna
LOL
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
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