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Silent Voices
SILENT VOICES
by Laurette van der Merwe
Silent voices ... words of love.
Can I hear you speak from above?
Am I deaf or maybe blind?
Is there joy that I will find?
Help me Jesus to run the race!
Every step at Your pace.
Teach me more that I become less.
Destroy my worries and distress.
Fill my life with something new,
that I may live each day for You.
Give me hope and give me strength, that I may run the race full length.
Hear my voice and see my face.
Give me mercy, give me grace..
Plant a seed and make it grow constantly that I will know,
Your love for me is all it takes
to make a difference for our sakes.
Give me peace from deep within,
that I may go no more and sin.
Help and strengthen me that I may pray
to You with victory every day.
Touch my life that I may feel
Your hand on me is very real.
Take the life I give to you.
Clean it out and make it new.
Open my eyes that I may see
what you really mean to me!
AMEN
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2024-04-26 12:03
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem, "Silent Voices," employs a straightforward structure and rhyme scheme, which makes it accessible to a wide range of readers. However, there are areas that could be improved to enhance its overall impact and depth.
Firstly, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery. While the current language is clear and easily understood, it lacks the vividness that could make the poem more engaging. For example, instead of saying "Help me Jesus to run the race," the poet could describe the race in more detail, or use a metaphor to convey the struggle and determination involved.
Secondly, the poem's themes of faith, hope, and renewal are universal, but they are presented in a somewhat generic way. The poet could delve deeper into these themes, perhaps by exploring personal experiences or unique perspectives that could make the poem more distinctive and relatable.
Lastly, the rhythm of the poem is somewhat inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow for readers. By adjusting the syllable count and stress patterns in each line, the poet could create a more rhythmic and pleasing reading experience.
In conclusion, while "Silent Voices" has a clear message and accessible language, it could be improved with more specific imagery, a deeper exploration of its themes, and a more consistent rhythm.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
tyro
Sat, 2024-04-27 07:27
A nice psalm, presenting your
A nice psalm, presenting your spiritual beliefs with the couplets, giving different points to explore.
I particularly like:
"that I may feel
Your hand on me is very real."
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
Laurette Van De...
Sun, 2024-04-28 08:48
Silent Voices Crit
Thank you kindly for taking the time to read my poem. I really do appreciate it.
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