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Sick Again…First Stanza (round robin)
My tongue sits in my mouth
like a boulder in a granite quarry
Hardened and dry, like caustic lime
My head pounds and rings out
Like a steel worker’s three pound hammer
On the rivets of the Chrysler building
I check myself for head trauma
I find nothing but self inflicted misery
Vague memories of triple hopped I.P.A.
Icy tumbler of Glenlivet like citrine glows
Up on its soapbox making bad noise
Twelve years in it’s barrel, half a day late for work…
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words:
Ok. This was harder than I thought it would be. Hopefully you’ve all had hangovers? I had one every morning for 20 years. This was my life.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Region & Country
U.S.A.
Favorite Poets
Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Walt Whitman. I’m enamored by the work of lyricists such as Robert Hunter, John Barlow, John Dyer Baizley, and Tom Marshall just to name a handful.
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Comments
RoseBlack
Tue, 2022-07-26 22:05
Sounds like
A few nights I have had that turned into long days...I am up next so here it goes...
~RoseBlack~
Jackweb
Tue, 2022-07-26 22:07
The importance of figure of speech
"My tongue sits in my mouth
like a boulder in a granite quarry
Hardened and dry, like caustic lime
My head pounds and rings out
Like a steel worker’s three pound hammer"
It adds to the elegance of the writing.
It adds dept to the sentence and and gives the reader a sense of awe.
Different types of figures of speech in English are used for expressing different meanings.
This is an integral part of the English language and can be found in poetry, oral literature and even in everyday conversations. For eye-catching purposes and also for adding humour.
Apt and yet beautiful!
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Geezer
Tue, 2022-07-26 23:36
I don't miss...
those days at all! I especially like the reference to:
"checking myself for head trauma" and the mention
of "half a day late for work". That cost me a couple of jobs.
No doubt about it, sick again, is the pits! Nice work
I almost had to check myself for head trauma! ~ Geez.
.
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-07-27 06:45
dear Tim,
I really liked the IPA (does that mean India Pale Ale?) very good job!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Rosewood Apothecary
Wed, 2022-07-27 09:40
It does
It was my everything. I love the bitterness of the hops. Hops and cannabis are closely related so the terpenes in hops are slightly psychedelic. I used to drink 4-12 daily and then smoke cannabis inducing an altogether more intense and psychoactive drunk. The urban dictionary calls this behavior “greening out”. It gives you the spins/nausea. I’m currently 7 years sober.
Tim
author commentRoseBlack
Wed, 2022-07-27 09:52
Congratulations
On your sobriety. A huge accomplishment!
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-07-27 13:43
hey Tim,
congratulations!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.