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Roses without Thorns!

Submitted by loved on Tue, 2011-01-25 15:21

Roses without Thorns!

Show me a rose
Without a thorn
And a life without sin,
I shall lay myself bare,
Through thick and thin,
From without to within
And
Let you upon me sin,
But if i win
Your life will be mine,
For roses are like me
So ever loved and divine
And
You shall become a slave of mine.

Show me that rose
And
Accept my challenge
A rose without thorns
O what!!!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

ziggy

Tue, 2011-01-25 16:20

well here I am as you asked
a rose by any other name hey
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

loved

Tue, 2011-01-25 16:43

loved's picture

thanks
a rose
is a rose
is a rose
i suppose

loved

author comment

ziggy

Tue, 2011-01-25 17:02

" love is a rose
you better not pick it
only grows when it's
on the vine, a hand
full of thorns and you
know you've missed
it, you lose your love
when you say the word
mine ,,,,,,,,,,,,lyrics by ' Neil young
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

Esker

Tue, 2011-01-25 21:14

Esker's picture

here I with my love
was a slave
let me get your dinner from the store
hand over my cheques
walk you everywhere
bring you water from the fridge
wash your dirty clothes
just love me

but Im just a slave

love this poem
your writing style
has a dash and dare
and you have a certian
focus and vision
that dances

loved

Tue, 2011-01-25 21:32

loved's picture

I Salute You Sir
For your kindness and appreciation
Upon a cracked vase in space
and
A broken lamp
can never replace,
The flowers or sunshine,
As you Sir
upon my face
So luxuriously place,
Such love and admiration
To share are born
a minuscule few,
Of which one are you
and
I wish you knew.

loved

author comment
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