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roses
smell the roses on the way
a saying often used
to encourage awareness of the day
amiable, perfumed petals
the aroma of harmony
the joys of living
captured within....
the bloom forever true
unfailing redolent bouquet
steadfastly soothing
... one can forget
lurking out of sight
there are prickles
and some seasons
the barb jags the finger
for each chance we take
a lesson is learned
while both flower and thorn
share the telling
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Sun, 2015-01-11 14:32
Elegant and understated.
I would not have thought it possible to bring a fresh sense to a poem about roses, well done.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
judyanne
Mon, 2015-01-12 07:02
thanks so much jess
I was unsure of this .... my muses are still sulking .... so I'm really happy you think that i achieved at least one aim of the poet.....
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
scribbler
Sun, 2015-01-11 15:10
Hiya Judy
Good job of conveying that smelling the roses can often come with a price. Stanza 3 line 2 might read a bit better if started with either "an" or "the". I enjoyed reading this......stan
judyanne
Mon, 2015-01-12 07:03
many thanks stan
For your input on this.... it made me rethink it and i think it's better..... do you ? Would love to know
I don't use .....s that much, but i think they have their place
I didn't want too many and's or the's.... and i had a win ... because you made me think, i got rid of a that :)
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
weirdelf
Mon, 2015-01-12 13:03
...
FYI ... are called ellipses
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
judyanne
Mon, 2015-01-12 20:54
lol
Yes i know that jess
Was just being silly and facetious
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
lovedly
Mon, 2015-01-12 09:36
what a variety
many hues of roses
in present society
what a piety
yours spread fragrance
judyanne
Mon, 2015-01-12 20:54
hi loved
Thanks for the visit and comment
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
lovedly
Mon, 2015-01-12 21:11
is that all
is that all
after such a long time
spent in the wilderness
i have stopped composing
as only Ian reads me
and i stop dead
at two only
now i spend hours leisurely
at a new site
lovely tis
each moment is a bliss
they all send flying kiss
gals and guys doesn't matter
its all coz
i am loved and lovedly
there some one
wantedly
neopoets be happy
you produced a one like me