Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
rebirth (A Petrarchan Sonnet - Sonnet workshop)
the bushfire season blazes every year
as summer heat ignites the tinder frame
of old and dried out trees and shrub, to claim
Australia’s outback creatures’ greatest fear
it rages uncontrolled, to char and sear
and animals and people, kill and maim
with many homes at risk to smoke and flame
the nation comes to fight, from far and near
but once the conflagration’s dimmed and died
a youthful green is seen there, through the land
and nascent buds are preening far and wide
from silvered ashes, phoenix-wise they stand
until the next combust, they’ll grow and bide
regeneration, just as nature planned
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Workshop:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Region & Country
Western Australia
Favorite Poets
Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story
Other recent work
Active Workshops & Contests
Contest
Workshop
- Splash Pool: How to use imagery in poetry..
- Wading Pool: Neopoet How To Video Resources
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 2
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 1
- Plunge Pool: Stream Workshop
Comments
Rula
Sun, 2015-01-25 16:27
I love the theme
as it deals with a critical issue especially in Australia.
Smooth rhythm and rhyme scheme.
I had problem only with line eleven. ..New-born buds ....
as I think there is a series of stressed syllables. So, for the sake of the workshop it would be great if you show how you have scanned that specific line.
And not to forget, the volta is really distinguished.
Great work dear.
Thanks for sharing.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
judyanne
Sun, 2015-01-25 23:33
thanks rula
'new-born buds' -- I originally scanned 'new-born' as one does with 'somewhere', the emphasis on the first word -- but I see by my dictionary that, even with the hyphen, they are both stressed...
- I will ponder on it some more - it's a shame though - I like 'new-born buds' :(
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
author commentscribbler
Sun, 2015-01-25 23:48
Hmmm.....
doesn't stanza 1 line 4 have one too many syllables" .I keep coming up with Australia having 4. Same problem seems to occur in first line of last stanza. The new born buds thing could easily be cured by "new sprouted buds.........." or newborn replaced by unfurled. Now I'm gonna duck behind this here screen while MM throws salvos of why-I'm-wrongs at me lol...........BTW the poem was pertinent and despite the syllable problems (or maybe because of them) it flowed well to me
judyanne
Mon, 2015-01-26 00:07
thanks Stan
Even though I am Aussie, i just now checked my dictionary, just to be sure how my country is pronounced... (smile)
'Australia' - aw - STREYL - yuh
And the first verse of the last stanza?
but ONCE the CON-fla-GRAT-ion's DIMMED and DIED
and thanks for the suggestions - I have already edited 'new-born buds'
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
author commentscribbler
Tue, 2015-01-27 16:43
But
If you spoke the proper form of English (American Southern) it would be awSTRELeuh lol. Ain;t dialects fun ?........stan
judyanne
Wed, 2015-01-28 09:26
lol
Not so much fun when trying to share/ agree on rhyme methinks, Stan
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
author commentRula
Mon, 2015-01-26 00:36
Judyanne
I thought the use of "nascent" is brilliant and fresh. I like it that much. :)
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
judyanne
Mon, 2015-01-26 12:40
thanks rula
lol - I wonder what those poor poets did in the olden days when there was no such thing as a dictionary - let alone a thesaurus
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
author commentwesley snow
Sun, 2015-02-01 17:38
I am quite serious...
those writers and poets wrote their own. My family in Texas has in its possession a hand written rhyming dictionary of some 20,000 entries penned by George Gordon, Lord Byron.
Poets have always made the records they needed to return to without having to remember themselves.
One of the first publications after the Bible was a dictionary,
We have always had the power.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
mand
Tue, 2015-01-27 00:53
Hi there
Awesome! Sorry I'm not around much - but I am managing to log in and hopefully learn a few things! :)
Love Mand xxx
judyanne
Tue, 2015-01-27 04:06
thanks mand
even if you don't write a whole sonnet, why don't you maybe try some iambic pentameter couplets for practice?
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
author commentmand
Tue, 2015-01-27 04:19
O.k
I was up at 4.00am to finish off some wiring work ( solder dipping ) - and I'm off out this afternoon with my daughter / grandson - I think I've got a job between times, but it's not to urgent so I'll try and do it then.
Thanks for the encouragement Judy! :)
Love Mand xxx
lovedly
Tue, 2015-01-27 13:02
sonnnets aren't my cup of tea
nor your coffee
but a sonneteer
you still maybe Judy
I can that now see
scribbler
Tue, 2015-01-27 16:46
LOL
They are my cup of bitter almonds but I'm still trying so what's Your excuse loverly? lol
judyanne
Wed, 2015-01-28 09:24
lol loved
Thank you (I think)
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
author comment