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In the Pencilled Inn

Submitted by Roscoe Lane on Sat, 2012-03-03 06:06

In the Pencilled Inn…

The pen lies between a scribbled age,
beatles throw scorn at birds in a cage.
My thoughts have gone south with rage,
don’t read what is on the page’s page.

Create a lust even though it’s false,
race your hot blood through each pulse.
Stand up and speak for someone else,
even to berate them with themselves.

Can’t always fulfil wishes of m pirates house,
unfortunate our Mr Fox was a royal louse.
That Ben’s clock never met a giant mouse,
did we his flame as well his anger douse.

I call them m pirates no longer M.Ps,
they all scrub up to a lord ships spindly knees.
Proud they are to treat us as they please,
sailing on happily on the same wheeze.

Don’t expect your god will their untruths smite,
no I’m afraid he’s impotent to their school’s might.
Like all cowardly fables are in the main contrite,
never does he or we fly near the abstraction of light.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
They charge on with the reforms and the people are an irrelevance..
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Roscoe Lane

Mon, 2012-03-12 16:02

Roscoe Lane's picture

Sorry for late reply Lonnie, i've been working away from home for a couple of weeks. Glad you enjoyed, and thank you for commenting. Regards Roscoe

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

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weirdelf

Tue, 2012-04-03 02:23

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to me it doesn't quite work as irony or satire.

But then again my favourite works of yours are the overtly political ones and I have a tendency to not like poetic introspection.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

judyanne

Tue, 2012-04-03 02:44

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love the 'm pirates' reference :)

an interesting write roscoe
i'm afraid i have given up on complaining or even hoping they will change
they never will
i think they are given a different book of life rules when they are sworn in

i really am drawn to the line
'don’t read what is on the page’s page.' it makes me wonder exactly what a pages' page would be - an interesting concept.

as for the references to nursery rhymes.. interesting
i've written a few re-writes of some of the politically based ditties
- a lot of fun to research

i enjoyed the monorhyme and the rhythm of this write
thanks for sharing
love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Roscoe Lane

Tue, 2012-04-10 09:45

Roscoe Lane's picture

Thank you, i'm glad you enjoyed this. I'm afraid i can,t give up, for wanting a better world for my grandchildren to grow up in. I may never achieve it but i just have to try. As far as the page's page, i know what it means to me but make of it as you will. Think what ,may be written on it. Thank you again . Love Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Cloudthings

Fri, 2012-04-06 09:20

Cloudthings's picture

Now I've just bent my rule that I don't usually read other comments until I write my own, & I have to say I agree entirely with Judyann here, I think she offered her comments so eloquently I would feel clumsy trying to offer anything much else, since it would be very similar in intent.

The lines J pulled out were also those that fascinated me... the pages page... I went back for a few more reads ot see if I could find a clue, but a bit of mystery is not a bad thing in poetry I think, no doubt there is a hidden sentiment there for you... Also I was chuckling when I got to the reference to MP's & pirates (you have to do a search for the "Flying spaghetti monster" & look particularly for the pirate element there-in, I'm sure you'd have a laugh... let me know how you go or PM me & I'll send a link.

Anyway, I enjoyed this, despite not being terribly clear about the meaning... I had that sense of intrigue, something like the "Jabberwoky" inspires, you don't always need to completely understand something to enjoy.

I also had a chuckle about the Lordship - lord ship - pirate ref & the Beatles ref as well, am wracking my brain as to what they wrote about... "My bird can sing" surely not? there was another ref I'm sure, I shall have to go listen!!!
Good fun Roscoe!

Cheers
Anni

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

Roscoe Lane

Tue, 2012-04-10 09:49

Roscoe Lane's picture

Thank you for your comments, about beatles and cages= medals and royals. Pages page as above make of it as you will. Thank you again, Love Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
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