Oh if this is really you writing from the heart I feel for you.

How little we humans, when together, or thrown together, communicate about ourselves, we are scared to be open and discuss things that are there in the sensitive areas of the feelings, we might cause a slight difficulty or even frighten love away by mentioning it, and yet it is that that is needed; this can be helped by a close friend, but is absolutely best just the two of you.

Whether this is a husband or a child, try to understand each other, and act naturally at the same time, we are all unique and different, our brains see and feel in different nuances, the most rewarding manner is to be open about what worries us, but we daren't.

I hope this can help, I understand the feeling.
Teenagers rebel too, they have to find their own feet to stand on, and sometimes do this in such an insensitive manner, I did too, when I think back, one is hardest on those one loves most...
" You always hurt the one you love,
the one your shouldn't hurt at all,
you always take the sweetest rose
and crush it till the petals fall".....etc.

I can hear 'Spike Jones and his City Slickers'
singing this in my head at the moment, and it is so.

I hope that if you fall prey to any mirage,
let it become real and beautiful
like some of the lovely poetry you write Barbara.

Ann.

A little something I wrote on love:-
First we marry ourselves and all through life have to make adjusments in our relationship with ourselves, just as later we do in any friendships or marriages as we grow up.
This is learning about what love is;
maybe we find out its measurement and maybe not.
It isn't a given, in some ways its more like a need, and the need developes into a giving and receiving of relief in that need.

The basic drive for this need is our sociability, communication with our fellow beings, our given society, our family, and eventually the whole worlds people.
More than ever now socialising with people we cannot even see, way round the globe.
Love is so important in our lives that it dominates our thoughts daily, In our teens with puberty it screams to be expressed and this screaming may even produce the opposite to what its aiming for. It is a driving force of life.
Sex without love us a kind of excercise for pleasure to be aroused chemically and when its done has not necessarily any love in it.
Sex with love is perhaps the closest one can come to anyone else in life, a melding of our all in a harmonious dance; perhaps at that moment we are no longer human beings, we are the great, grand harmonious movement of all the matter that exists in the universe, and of it can come a new person.
______
From web;. What love is to 4-8 year olds...
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.' 

Bobby - age 7  


'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' 

Tommy - age 6 

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. 
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' 

Billy - age 4 


The final answer was from a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. 

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. 

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 

'Nothing, I just helped him cry' 


That's love.

Love from Ann.

I am hoping this is just poetry and not true feelings. I once wrote a poem on depression and everyone thought I was depressed. I wasn't.
But at the same time I can relate to a lot of what you have written. Kids break your heart, small things make you feel useless. We all do the best we can. I do not know who wrote it but remember the little story about the tapestry and how tangled it looked on the back of the material, but when you turned it over after it was finished u could see the beautiful embroidery on the front. You are a beautiful work in progress.

Linda