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ONE DAY CLOSER
ONE DAY CLOSER
One day closer to you
That's how I get myself through
Each day that goes by
even though I still cry
I know I'm one day closer to you
I don't know how many days it will take
But I do know that you will wait
For each day that goes by
brings me one day closer to you
I will fulfill my purpose
that I have been left here to do
Knowing each day
brings me one day closer to you
My smile will get bigger
as I see each tasks through
For I know each day
brings me one day closer to you
When I have served my purpose
and there's no more days to get through
I'll be sad to leave the ones I love
But I'll be happy to finally
be going home to you
TJ Sheppard
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
lovedly
Thu, 2022-12-15 13:05
very heart rending beautiful poem
from a fellow poet
CANADIAN
Keep on adding
this it seems is your maiden
poem here
M4GG0TM3NT4L
Thu, 2022-12-15 14:51
oohh
welcome to the site, i found this very interesting! the loneliness floods out of the screen for me! it flows like a river, very well paced and worded.
-m4gg0t was here
you could call me soph if you'd like.
The phantom of the opera is there. Inside my mind.
Rosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2022-12-15 17:31
Welcome
Fantastic piece of writing. To me it speaks of the resilience of people who have to continue existence without a former lover or loved one. I sense a spiritual aspect underneath that; sort of the “one bright morning when my work is over I will fly away home” feel to it. Either way our subject is resigned to carry on making the best of the situation regardless of incredible loss.
Great job,
Tim
Lavender
Thu, 2022-12-15 17:47
One Day Closer
Greetings, TJ,
The waiting and longing to be joined again with a loved one, but also realizing we all have a purpose to fulfill until that time. I agree, there is also a sense of finally meeting one's creator, maker, spiritual being. Tender, with a gentle flow.
Welcome!
Lavender
Jackweb
Thu, 2022-12-15 22:42
Beautiful!!!
Very well delivered piece of writing. The title is a glimpse to the message of the piece. Sure, all and sundry will one day pushing up the daises and and waiting for the final awakening and meet our creator! Language simple and easy to understand. Nice work !
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"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb