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Neverwas and Nevermore

Submitted by docmaverick on Tue, 2012-06-12 01:44

Neverwas and nevermore
two places I have been,
the former taught me how to dream
where I'lll never go again.

Journey begins at twilight
through a time tunnel, secure
be careful, avoid the shadows
they cause aches one can't endure.

Neverwas and nevermore
two places I have been,
the latter highlights memories
I make with all my friends.

Out of time's windy tunnel
you'll spy a meadowy-like haze,
that separates the field of dreams
from the light and shadow maze.

Neverwas and nevermore
two places I have been,
the former taught me how to dream
where I'll never go again;

and when you breathe, your fears all leave
because the air's so blue,
it's sometimes difficult to see
if the meloncholy swallows you.

Neverwas and nevermore
two places I have been,
the latter highlights memories
I made with all my friends;

and with thier help, my life's been adorned
from some of the rarest fabric sewn;
imported only for my, warm existence
so for, forever; I'll not feel...so alone.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Typed in by my Mom/secretary as my computer is down.
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

Ian.T

Sat, 2012-06-30 03:09

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

A change from the Norm and was well received, just one small thing to bring balance to it there needs to be another Stanza at the end..
As to using a secretary to type for you can you send me one lol.
Have a great day out there yours, Typing himself, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

lonlyhrtsclub13

Mon, 2013-07-22 12:42

lonlyhrtsclub13's picture

I have definitely been. Good write. I try to stay out of neverwas, it tends to get me in trouble if i overthink it. Nevermore is a place I frequent, the things that was and will never be again...

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

docmaverick

Tue, 2013-07-23 23:44

docmaverick's picture

...sometimes, I can actually find comfort in the estranged knowledge that, l will have to deal with those memories.......nevermore, ya know?
thanx, 4 reading....& the encouraging words;
sincerely,
doc. :}.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

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