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My Song to My Grandson
Today we sing the song to praise our son, brother, nephew, and grandson.
This song may not have a beat or harmony.
It has the rhythm of life you gave to us in our daily lives.
You were the carriage we cherished who carried the pillar of our hearts with your smile.
This day is not a day of despair or darkness
Today and our tomorrows shall be an eternal light in your remembrance
Your seeds shall carry on the spirit you have brought forth to us.
You shall remain a gift to us all through the embodiment of your hugs and kisses while you listened to our troubles.
Though you will not fish by my side I know you and your grandmother are now the catchers by the sea.
We shed these tears today to say goodbye knowing one day we shall walk together on the beach once again.
You shall remain our giver and deliverer when we face hard times.
Today we say thank you our son for being there for all of us with much love.
You are now delivered to the Prince of Peace who always loved you.
We, your family thank you for bringing joy to our lives.
We shall miss you while you remain with us each day of our lives....
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
Last few words:
My grandson died recently from a cigarette laced with fentanyl by someone he called sister.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-10-17 07:12
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "My Song to My Grandson" is a heartfelt tribute to a beloved family member. The imagery and emotions expressed in the poem are poignant and relatable. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened:
1. Structure and Form: The poem lacks a consistent structure or form. Consider exploring different poetic devices such as stanzas, rhyme schemes, or meter to enhance the overall flow and rhythm of the poem. This will help create a more cohesive and engaging reading experience.
2. Specificity and Detail: While the poem captures the general sentiment of love and appreciation for the grandson, it could benefit from more specific and concrete details. Try incorporating specific memories, experiences, or characteristics that make the grandson unique and memorable. This will add depth and authenticity to the poem.
3. Show, Don't Tell: Instead of explicitly stating emotions and experiences, try to show them through vivid imagery and sensory details. For example, rather than saying "You were the carriage we
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
Sat, 2023-10-28 06:43
My Song To My Grandson
Hello, David,
Beautiful. I hope writing this offered some peace to you and yours. Thank you so much for sharing this tender poem and homage. My condolences.
Lavender