Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Moments - an album in mind
moments come and go
don't run after them
when they come again
do not let them go
when there's sun and rain
come watch out in the sky
for a rainbow to appear
then catch it in your eyes
when someone is in grief
hold their hand a while
it's more than words said
"I do share your feelings"
for some moments wait
while many others pass
life's still lived in them
until the breaths last
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Direction):
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
lovedly
Fri, 2018-06-29 16:08
don't run
moments of memory
at late night
can be shared
by pillows only
Bless the night
sweet dreams will come
to poet thee
then bless those moments
will ye
the night is still young they say
as always
thanks for reading me
raj
Fri, 2018-06-29 16:00
thanks Lovedly...it was a
thanks Lovedly...it was a typo..have corrected it to "run"
.................................................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentscribbler
Fri, 2018-06-29 20:44
Very nice
If only we Could hold onto the treasured moment for a while.....sigh. I guess the best we can do is store them in memory.....stan
raj
Sat, 2018-06-30 04:54
Hi Stan
appreciate your stopping by to read and comment.....good to know you found this nice....though everyone would like to hold on for the treasured moment it's only a wishful thinking eh! instead all significant moments remain in the album in our mind....some good others not so good...
thanks for taking the time...
....................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commenttyro
Sat, 2018-06-30 04:07
Very well done,
Very well done,
It brings to mind the lasting significance of moments. I also very much liked the philosophical undertones in stanza one and two, and the moral undertone of stanza three. .
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
raj
Sat, 2018-06-30 04:57
thanks tyro
for taking time to read and comment which tells me that you you could connect with this poem very well as is reflected in the measured words....
I appreciate your visit..
.............................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentRula
Sun, 2018-07-01 04:07
Raj
A lovely read with a precious message indeed.
I just thought the repetition of the word 'go' in S1 and moment in S4 is a bit effete (if that's the right word). Of course I understand that there could be no better alternatives, but it is worth trying to paraphrase the closing lines to avoid the repetition. Just my humble opinion of course.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
raj
Sun, 2018-07-01 04:28
thanks for the read and
thanks for the read and comment Rula
the fact is I could not find appropriate alternatives to those words...let me know if you do.
...............................................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentRula
Tue, 2018-07-03 03:25
I suggest
If you allow me to play with that last stanza:
for some moments wait
while many others pass
and life's still lived in
as long as its breaths last
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
raj
Tue, 2018-07-03 05:08
Rula
that's a wonderful suggestion...i will adopt it immediately with a slight tweaking for cadence...
thanks for playing around [engaging with the poem] :)
....................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
author comment