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A miracle perchance

Submitted by Tigger Kaz on Wed, 2024-08-07 06:23

A single grain of sand,
Droplets of rain that land.
Or a tiny little person,
To take hold of my hand.

The briefest waft of scent,
A view serene and pleasant.
Or a most thoughtful thing,
That I give as a present.

A beating heart,
A last breath departs.
Or everlasting love,
When binding our hearts.

The smallest of chance,
Life awesomely enhanced.
Or a miracle from above,
In the puzzle of life's romance.

Review Request (Intensity): 
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Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
08/24 Too Good to be True
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2024-08-07 12:23

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "A miracle perchance" explores the theme of appreciating the small moments and gestures that can bring joy and meaning to life. The imagery of a single grain of sand, droplets of rain, and a tiny little person conveys a sense of wonder and gratitude for the simple things in life. The contrast between fleeting moments like a brief waft of scent and more profound experiences like everlasting love adds depth to the poem. The structure of the poem with its consistent rhyme scheme and rhythmic flow enhances the overall message of finding miracles in everyday life. Consider further developing the imagery and exploring different perspectives to enrich the emotional impact of the poem.

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Lavender

Wed, 2024-08-07 14:50

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Hello, Tigger,
A lovely poem pointing out the simple, yet wonderful moments in life that do seem too good to be true - but yet, they are! Miracles! I don't believe the "s" on "lands" in the first stanza is needed, therefore giving it an absolute rhyme with "sand" and "hand." I wonder if trying to rephrase and eliminate all the added "s" and "es" would look and sound smoother - just a suggestion as I read through.
This piece is a gentle reminder to realize what miracles lie before us every day. Very nice!
Thank you!
L

Tigger Kaz

Sat, 2024-08-10 07:00

Tigger Kaz's picture

Thank you for your helpful suggestions.

author comment

Rula

Sat, 2024-08-31 14:13

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All are too good to be true!

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