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Losing America

Submitted by Apostolos "Paul... on Sun, 2024-08-04 17:47

Kindness packed her bags;
Couldn’t bear the hate
In our broken hearts.

How can we be kings and queens
When we've settled as pawns?
Did I offend, or was it pride
That led us astray?

What is evil whispering tonight?
“I’ve wounded love; slowly,
I’ll kill it.” They made it easy.

Perplexed? Why?
Not all weapons need bullets
Sometimes, words are enough
To strangle hope in broad daylight.
What happened to decency?
Has she followed kindness?

I ask these questions
To spark a fire
That unites enemies,
Rekindling the America
We are losing to hate.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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neopoet

Sun, 2024-08-04 23:50

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Losing America" is a poignant commentary on the current state of affairs. The use of personification in the first and second stanzas is effective in conveying the departure of kindness and decency from society. However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of metaphorical language throughout.

The questions posed in the poem are thought-provoking, but the transition from the questions to the call for unity in the final stanza could be smoother. The connection between the questions and the desired outcome of unity is not explicitly clear.

The line "Not all weapons need bullets" is a powerful metaphor that could be expanded upon. This could serve as a central theme for the poem, tying together the concepts of hate, division, and the power of words.

The phrase "I’ve wounded love; slowly, I’ll kill it." is somewhat ambiguous. It is not clear who is speaking or to whom they are speaking. Clarifying this could enhance the overall impact of the poem.

The poem could also benefit from a more detailed exploration of the concept of 'losing America'. What does this loss look like? How does it manifest? Providing specific examples or imagery could make this abstract concept more tangible for the reader.

Overall, the poem effectively communicates a sense of despair and longing for unity. With a few adjustments, it could be even more impactful.

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