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I give you a black rose

All I have to say is that I love you
but its all in what I have to do
ever since we said goodbye
all I wanted to do is die
and get out of this big lie

Ever since we split
all I can do is grab a blade and slit
see all of my blood - dark red
and me lying on my bed
can you tell that im not breathing ?

You said I acted childish
you said all I wanted to do is play
but now you see me here as I just lay
just laying her with my vains split
all because without you I feel like some shit

I hope that now youre happy
because now im done
my light has shone
and im gone.

Editing stage: 

Comments

i see the promise of greatness in your words. it could be a little tighter, but it's a great start. you look kinda young so just letting you know you're not alone :) pm me if you wanna talk. you'll get a lot of serious critique here, not just omg i loove it. so be prepared!
always,
mag

thank you and yes i know i had a neopoet before, but then the big crash happened so im trying to restore all my poems i had but its pretty hard considering that i can only put up one per day. also thanx for the comment :)

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