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How long will this Winter Last
The paltry sun smiles across the frozen Plains,
as if to mock my shivering words,
“How long will this winter last”
The trees and shrubs that wooed the summer breeze
with blossoms ablaze,
are smitten under foot,
after boasting they would never die,
now lie still,
fallen emblems of a summer past,
there ghostly voices still echoing,
“How long will this winter last”
The robin feeds oblivious to the frost and cold,
looking only for his meal of worm,
pausing briefly for the wintry wind,
as it screams through the trees
“How long will this winter last”
The frozen brook where well we played
with rod or trunks,
sleeps silent in its glassy grave,
beckoning visitors to cross it fast,
while creaking out
“How long will this winter last”
But with the days, the sun will shift,
its rays to change this silent land,
and see the green of springs return,
to claim its laughter warm and bright,
no more to hear her wintry blast .
“How long will this winter last”
Comments
Rula
Thu, 2012-04-26 07:54
Believe!
I like the repetion of that sentence and
all that metaphore which it conveys...
“How long will this winter last”
A beautiful write!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
believe
Thu, 2012-04-26 20:00
Thks
Thanks Rula
China Blue
Thu, 2012-04-26 10:09
Be
The poem in of itself is wonderful
however some of your sentence are far to long perhap a shortening of them might work
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
believe
Thu, 2012-04-26 20:03
Thks
Thanks Chrys
Unfortunately I am not skilled enough to "shorten" the lines without loosing its rhythm , ...I think'
do you mean as seen; on the page or; re-write the lines differently ?
judyanne
Fri, 2012-04-27 03:52
nice write believe
but I agree with chrys – some lines seem a little long
suggestions to break them
‘The trees and shrubs
that wooed the summer breeze with blossoms ablaze,’
‘pausing only for the wintry wind,
as it screams through the trees’
‘The frozen brook
were well we played with rod or trunks’ (also typo here --- ‘where’)
‘beckoning visitors to cross it fast,
while creaking out’
I like the use of the repetition throughout
love judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
believe
Fri, 2012-04-27 05:31
Thks
Why Thanks Judy,
I'll re-work it, thanks for the help
Ian.T
Fri, 2012-04-27 06:40
Believe
Your new edit has done the trick, and now the piece reads well, and I love the way you write, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
believe
Wed, 2012-05-16 08:35
Thanks
thanks again Ian
China Blue
Fri, 2012-04-27 08:06
Believe
A re visit from me, Yes now that brings out the beauty of this poem
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
believe
Wed, 2012-05-16 08:35
Thanks
Thanks China