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A Host of Sandhill Cranes
Two hundred Sandhill
Cranes flew by
to decorate the
southbound sky,
to soar,
to flee,
to freely fly
off to a warmer mire.
And as I watched
the sedge move on
from roosts of colts
now so forgone
from nest
to sky,
to freely fly,
my own heart carried higher.
I wondered where
they'd find their stay
through winter's plight
so cold and gray,
to rest,
to stretch,
to freely fly
as nature would aspire.
So many more
have come to pass
these sleeping trees,
this labored grass,
and though I longed,
I did not ask
to freely fly
as was my soul's desire.
When winter's wind
breaks through the panes
I'll dream about
the Sandhill Cranes
and I shall soar,
to flee,
to freely fly,
and touch the heavens, nigher.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
I usually hear these beauties before I see them up above. L
Editing stage:
Workshop:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
RoseBlack
Sun, 2023-11-12 22:05
What an image
Of the sandhill cranes soaring to their winter destination! To be as free as they are and to pick up and relocate as they see fit! The imagery paints such a grand picture! As always, excellent form, flow and use of language. I can imagine the liberating feeling watching them fly away. Great job
~RoseBlack~
Lavender
Mon, 2023-11-13 09:13
Thank you, Carrie,
It is so exciting to watch them - they are magnificent.
Thank you for reading!
L
Leslie
Sun, 2023-11-12 22:05
That was a wonderful poem
I simply loved it!
Today never knows what tommorow will bring!
Lavender
Mon, 2023-11-13 09:14
Thank you so much!
These beautiful birds are extraordinary!
L
Alex Tanner
Mon, 2023-11-13 10:25
Love it
Very descriptive, unfortunately not a bird we get here, only magpies, rooks and pigeons in any quantity. Oh! I nearly forgot the raucous greedy gulls. Loved it. Alex
Lavender
Mon, 2023-11-13 12:48
Hello, Alex,
Sandhill Cranes are a glorious bird! No poetry really could ever do them justice.
Thank you for reading!
L
Ruby Lord
Mon, 2023-11-13 10:40
Hey Lavender, I don't know
Hey Lavender, I don't know why, but the hair on my neck suddenly prickled as I got to the end of your poem. That was fantastic, I loved it. Well done, Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Lavender
Mon, 2023-11-13 12:51
Hello, Ruby!
I am touched it this gave you any strong feeling - they are so poem-worthy!
Thank you for your wonderful comments. Always appreciate it!
L
Leslie
Mon, 2023-11-13 13:49
Sandhill Cranes
I am well acquainted with these majestic birds.
They used to fly right over us and land right behind the school yard where I worked. Unmistakable call! What a breath-taking poem.
Today never knows what tommorow will bring!
Lavender
Mon, 2023-11-13 14:31
You are so fortunate!
I've only seen them from a distance. We are located along their migratory route and they gather in the thousands several hours away from us. I really need to make the trip to see them. (On my bucket list) Yes, their trilling call is invigorating! You can hear it long before you see them!
L
Candlewitch
Tue, 2023-11-14 10:33
Dear Lavender,
The title of this poem bothers me. It is the number "Two Hundred". I am wondering if you could use something that flows better, like; A Host Of, or A Multitude Of? I think this finely crafted work of art deserves a more fitting introduction. (a title is an introduction) it is fine in the first lines of the piece.
The repeated lines, in the body of the poem flow well and add texture. they are the heart of the piece. I really like this poem because of them. my favorite lines are:
So many more
have come to pass
these sleeping trees,
this labored grass,
and though I longed,
I did not ask
to freely fly
as was my soul's desire.
I found closure at the ending. this poem made me feel good as if a cloud had lifted.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Lavender
Tue, 2023-11-14 11:01
Hello, Cat!
Thank you for the lovely suggestion! I really like "A Host..." and will gratefully use it!
Thanks, again!
L
Candlewitch
Tue, 2023-11-14 11:08
Dear Lavender,
you are very welcome. I am glad to have helped!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.