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He's Gone

Submitted by aeron maccloud on Tue, 2018-05-08 14:56

Going…
Going…
He’s gone.

hehe

There is dust on my guitar
(not his fault).
I wipe it off,
strum a chord,
shut the door
and slide the bolt.

I’ll build a world of my own
that only friends can share.
There’ll be candlelit baths.
lots of hugs
and self-satisfied contentment there.

Sorry if I’m not broken-hearted.
I could pretend for his ego
but I am not his, ergo
I have no need
to pander
to his self greed

My solitude is crowded
with friends and song and mirth,
with wild and loony dances,
with passionate emergence into
my lusty lovely self.

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

IRiz

Wed, 2018-05-09 08:13

I like it.

I like it.
The beginning is visual. It sounds like a shutting of the door.
The ending is wild and out of control, like feelings of freedom and hurt.

IRiz

aeron maccloud

Sun, 2018-05-20 10:46

thanks Iriz

do you relate to it?

Aeron
If poetry doesn't change anything it isn't anything.

author comment

IRiz

Sun, 2018-05-20 11:34

I've read some of your works here Iriz

and like them but they all seem to be about nature and... well they are deep and beautiful but I don't know how to comment cos I don't really relate.
That's why I asked.
I think maybe its something missing in me.

Aeron
If poetry doesn't change anything it isn't anything.

author comment

IRiz

Sun, 2018-05-20 13:07

People are different and go

People are different and go through different phases, so don't worry you don't miss anything, it is just you focus on relationship to people more. I am tired of grief and hustle and create a different world in my poems, the world where one can simply be in balance with self and with nature.

IRiz

aeron maccloud

Sun, 2018-05-20 16:55

Whatever I'm doing

I always feel I'm missing something else!

Aeron
If poetry doesn't change anything it isn't anything.

author comment

raj

Sun, 2018-05-20 15:58

Hi Aeron

the mood of your poem...rather a song is vividly expressed...it gives to me a sense of carefree malevolence...i liked the feel and texture of your poem....
..............................................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

aeron maccloud

Sun, 2018-05-20 16:56