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Frenzy
the sky inverts into a blue lagoon
as we elope in zero gravity
levitating in a bubble all our own
only madness can create
steering it with our bodies squirming
limbs thrashing, passions soaring
suddenly as the bubble bursts
we dive in the blue lagoon with a big splash
with stars in your eyes
glowing in the aftermath
of our madness and buoyant frenzy
snowballing into ecstasy
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
tyro
Wed, 2018-05-09 16:47
Well no doubt about it, that
Well no doubt about it, that was definitely a frenzy. Still trying to get my imagination to calm down.
T
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
raj
Thu, 2018-05-10 05:35
tyro
thanks for taking time to read and comment. Your comment indicates that you found the poem effective. I hope you are now back from the imagination zone...:)
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raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentgregwa8
Thu, 2018-05-10 02:09
nice little surreal journey
nice little surreal journey you took us on! I like how the lagoon, inverts into the sky, and then the character splashes into the lagoon, which is actually the sky, and so their eyes become the stars. the internal logic, though the poem is absurd, makes a lot of sense. creates a very vivid picture. thanks for this!
raj
Thu, 2018-05-10 05:37
greg
i liked the way you summed up this poem as "nice little surreal journey". Thanks a lot for the read and your elaborate comment. Good to know it also created a vivid picture for you...
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raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentRula
Thu, 2018-05-10 09:43
How I always
wished to let my imagination travel so far. Seems my senses prefer reality much better. I envy you my friend.
That was fun to read indeed raj and a v. apt title too.
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raj
Thu, 2018-05-10 13:46
Thanks Rula
for the read and comment....i know your "envy" is not a mean one but of appreciation...I am just trying to experiment in different domains ...good to read positive comments...
warmly...
raj (sublime_ocean)
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