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folding
clouds fold like pancakes we eat with our eyes time flips over like we flip pancakes the sun is ablob of butter thin cloudesoil for pancakes thick clouds slow time down thin clouds faster the sunset like
strawberries on the pancakes rain the sparks from the pan snow sugar on the pancakes
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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