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First Worst Curse

The magics of the will imprinting upon your personal aura,
With the pineal gland transferring its shapes into your brain,
And dynamic minds essence corrupting not becoming purer,
Leading an individual's enlightenment to then become insane.

As I focus my thoughts into their densities they condense,
And my patterns of consciousness become a part of yours,
The weight of your actions consequences now so immense,
I Influence your freedom and nature through sacred laws.

My illuminating candle of penetrating light and piercing heat,
Distorts that within you which was once individually unique,
As the laughs of your victory are consumed by cries so bleak,
Once sighing in the release of joys now you cry in utter defeat.

My belief in your honour was once strong then it disintegrated,
Bridges you burnt through my friends paying the price of your curse,
This simple fool survived growing stronger then becoming initiated,
Now I let your soul’s energy burn and astral body become a hearse.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "First Worst Curse" appears to explore themes of magic, consciousness, and the consequences of actions. It uses a complex and rich language to convey these themes, which can be both a strength and a challenge.

On one hand, the language adds depth and complexity to the poem, creating a sense of mystery and intrigue. On the other hand, it may make the poem less accessible to readers who are not familiar with the concepts and terminology used. To address this, the poet could consider providing some context or explanation, either within the poem itself or in a note accompanying the poem.

The poem's structure is consistent, with each stanza containing four lines. This gives the poem a sense of balance and rhythm. However, the rhythm is disrupted at times by lines that are significantly longer or shorter than others. To improve the poem's flow, the poet could consider revising these lines to make them more consistent in length.

The poem's imagery is vivid and evocative, particularly in lines like "My illuminating candle of penetrating light and piercing heat," and "Now I let your soul’s energy burn and astral body become a hearse." These lines effectively convey the poem's themes and emotions. However, some of the imagery is quite abstract, which can make it difficult for readers to fully grasp the poem's meaning. The poet could consider using more concrete imagery to help readers better understand and connect with the poem.

Finally, the poem's themes are intriguing and thought-provoking, but they could be developed further. For example, the poem could delve deeper into the consequences of the actions described, or explore the concept of "sacred laws" in more detail. This would add depth to the poem and make it even more engaging for readers.

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