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Fever Dream.

I can't see past him, it's like his presence binds
His voice sparkles like Zephyrus' wind chime
His hands, they weave and fix,
Bringing a thousand stars together in a beautiful mix.

He wears a cloak of darkness, yet radiates pure light
His shadow it seems, has the universe's full might
His form yet lays unrest, as if he's a shimmer
These surroundings can't hold him, I feel time go a bit quicker.

he opens his mouth, but not a word comes out
and yet I hear the words, being said by sounds without
they resonate inside me in a melodious rhythm
singeing my flesh and carrying me with him

up we go, far, oh , far away
free from all the mortal misery that could ruin a day
a child's shrill screech, a woman's cry of pain
a bird's first flight, the pitter-pat of the rain

and then we ascend, to the realm above ours
all earthly sense fails, only the mind empowers
"Where are we, what is this place?" I find myself speak for the first
he gives a petite grin like this is all rehearsed

I urge to inquire further, then abruptly stop
because I just spotted an angel up top
the epitome of beauty, in a white flowy dress
but why do I then feel, those eyes I've caressed?

I look to my side and find him gone
I'm all alone now, and find myself drawn
up at the hill, I look again
but find her standing right next to me then

"do I know you?" I ask with expectation
" 'Everyone does, even if out of obligation, ' "
"For I am The Past, my father Time brought you here,"
"I reflect your musings with me, you see who you hold near"

I stand there as if frozen in place
throat all dry, all I do is stare at her ethereal space
and then she ceases, last I saw her was a lifetime ago
my mother's call cuts through the air, and I see the light of reality glow.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Fever Dream" creates a dreamlike atmosphere and explores themes of transcendence and the passage of time. The imagery and metaphors used are vivid and evocative, contributing to the overall mood of the poem.

One suggestion for improvement would be to consider the consistency of the poem's tone and language. Some lines, such as "His voice sparkles like Zephyrus' wind chime" and "His form yet lays unrest, as if he's a shimmer," use elevated and poetic language, while other lines, such as "I find myself speak for the first" and "I look to my side and find him gone," use more casual and colloquial language. Maintaining a consistent tone throughout the poem can enhance its overall impact.

Additionally, the poem could benefit from further development of its central ideas. While the imagery and descriptions are intriguing, the poem leaves some questions unanswered, such as the significance of the angel and the relationship between the protagonist and the figure

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