Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

even if

Submitted by judyanne on Fri, 2012-07-13 12:58

even if perception was to loosen exponentially
until we could feel realities blend
the colour of twilight be seen in its divinity
through all our senses to gently wend

even if strings that vibrate through forever
releasing acoustics of every single round
that exists within the chromatic scale of ever
should on our ears progressively sound

even if piquant flavours of eternity
did assault our appetites to taste
aromas roaming in blank perpetuity
over our palates softly baste

our understanding would still be a guess
for no finite mind can comprehend infinities
nothing manifest can see endlessness
or the faces of god in all their complexities
.

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Roscoe Lane

Sat, 2012-07-14 04:08

There is,

There is no answer to this, or is there. Are we just not complex enough to have an answer, we can't leave it to faith it's not our way. This is a terrific poem as well as a work out for the head. Love Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

judyanne

Sat, 2012-07-14 23:01

thanks very much roscoe

for the very supportive comment
glad i got you thinking :)
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Ian.T

Sat, 2012-07-14 04:21

Judy

Roscoe said most of the things about your piece where it is a mind searching piece.
This tripped me in a couple of places as its smooth read became a little bumpy, maybe because of the words that I had to pause on, one place where Round I thought should have been sound then the sound came in lol
But as Roscoe said it was a grand write,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

judyanne

Sun, 2012-07-15 05:26

lol ian

'... had to pause on, one place where Round I thought should have been sound then the sound came in '
that's a compliment in my mind, for i don't thinki rhyme should be predictable - i reckon it works best when it is unexpected...

thanks for the great comments
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

loved

Sun, 2012-07-15 01:50

scientifically

scientific
also some words this time
i had to Google
to be sure

your vocab resounds
and raises my inner sensitivity
when will I???
if ever
raise myself

loved

judyanne

Sun, 2012-07-15 05:25

loved xx

thank you
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Neopoet

even if