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Dungeon of Wisdom
shuttered exits
only exist in nightmares
head-high weeds are sprouts
to a fence of knowledge
the problem with real
is its reliance on reality
the young and the new
are the secrets of entryism
you aren't ill even if you're sick
until you begin to lose confidence
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
swamp-witch
Sun, 2017-12-03 17:34
Poetrify,
Welcome to Neopoet! A great first submission. I can't pick a favorite couplet or image. This poem gives readers a lot to think about. It reminds me of the aphorism "fake it 'til you make it". I suffer mental and physical illness and there is only so much that "faking it" can do for me, so that phrase always rubbed me the wrong way. The ending of the poem definitely takes a unique stance on that "fake it 'til you make it" mindset.
Looking forward to more of your writing. Maybe the next one will have something I can offer feedback on! It's not usual of me to not be able to find something to suggest.
Thanks for sharing,
Kelsey
Critique, don't comment.
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Poetrify
Mon, 2017-12-04 13:44
Swamp-witch,
Swamp-witch,
Thank you so much.