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In The Confines of My Heart
deep in the confines of my heart
exists a very special place
where only love can enter there
why? because it is a forever space
not everyone can enter there
she must be extraordinary
as this woman truly belongs here
we both have suffered broken hearts
mine, the death of my first love
at age twenty one, hers, from years
of abuse, lies and harmful deceits
she is someone very special
as I invited her to enter this heart
for us to help heal each other
overcome our hurtful moments
the coming years of our futures
our friendship will grow immediately
and cultivating into being soulmates
forever!
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
I want to be a successful member of Newport. I love writing poetry as it is my way to cleanse my mind of the things I face daily, especially, depression.
Editing stage:
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Author information
Region & Country
OH
Favorite Poets
Poe, Keating, Wordsworth. To many to list, so I will say all of the ancients inspire me to compose in my own style!
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Comments
jusstuf
Tue, 2016-11-08 15:15
Looking for constructive help
Looking for constructive help with elevating my poetry. Thank you for any help you want to give me!
jusstuf
author commentjusstuf
Tue, 2016-11-08 15:19
Any constructive comments
Any constructive comments will be accepted.
jusstuf
author commentthemoonman
Wed, 2016-11-09 20:58
Hi,
Welcome to the site, we are all here to
learn from each other, offering critique actually
helps you with your own writing.
The first thing one sees is the title, it's your
baby, take time to name it something you'll
be proud of. Using a line from the poem, is
taking the easy road ... if you can come up
with something that adds to the poem without
giving it away, that's the ticket.
Your content is a love story. Hard to deliver
that with any uniqueness but it can be done.
Make the reader feel it, offer the simple and
take us for a feel through it.
Welcome to the site,
Richard (themoonman)
Keith Logan
Thu, 2016-11-10 06:47
As themoonman says
Try to show more rather than tell. As an example, your first verse:
deep within my heart
exists a special place,
a place reserved for love
it is a forever space.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
Esker
Thu, 2016-11-10 11:46
Newport is beautiful
a port of creative souls on the seas edge
of creative power
the tide
Love conquers all...
Vibrant poem!
Thank U!