Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Colder, and a bit Older
When I was but a young man
I flew high, by the seat of my pants,
I celebrated with my glass held, high,
plus, I rarely missed a "dance"!
Then, as I grew older
seems I'd break before I'd bend;
and, as life grew much colder
I learned the value of a friend.
Now, I am much grayer
and cherish days, as they go by;
with each, and every memory
causing my heart, and soul to sigh;
I've honestly tried to help,
and treat others in a way;
to show that I'm an example
like how Jesus, used to say.
I sincerely hope I never
caused anyone to fall,
compared to my few burdens
my blessings outweigh them all!
And to our next generation
coming up into our view,
I pray your blessings too, will be greater
as I bid you all, "adieu"!
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Simply an odd amount of, "quasi-futuristic reflections".
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Ian.T
Mon, 2012-05-28 03:01
Doc
Join the club, know how you feel lol, at least you can bend a bit lol, liked this write a delicate show of age, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
docmaverick
Mon, 2012-05-28 07:10
Thanx, Sir Ian....
...I sincerely appreciate your words of encouragement on this one. However, some may get the idea that I'm also, "hell bent", ya know?
friend, doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==