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church hall confession
i do adore your brown eyes. they exude a comforting warmth when I gaze right into them. your every movement is effortless, as though simplicity is your essence. you bring back such a beautiful fragrance. with you, there's no need for pretense; our love remains unspoken, but never gone. your golden locks cascade gracefully to your shoulders, an angelic aura that surrounds you. this lustful love could never fade, believe me, it has tried. your imprint on my heart is indelible, and you are forever mine. please, my beautiful, never leave my side.
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-11-07 19:12
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "church hall confession" explores themes of adoration, simplicity, and eternal love. The speaker expresses their deep affection for someone with brown eyes, praising their comforting warmth and effortless movements. The poem also highlights the beauty of the person's fragrance, golden locks, and angelic aura. The speaker declares their unwavering love and asks the person never to leave their side.
In terms of constructive feedback, I would suggest considering the following points:
1. Clarity of imagery: While the poem conveys the speaker's admiration for the person's physical attributes, it could benefit from more specific and vivid descriptions. Instead of using general terms like "beautiful fragrance" and "angelic aura," consider incorporating sensory details that engage the reader's imagination.
2. Variation in language: The poem relies heavily on positive adjectives such as "beautiful" and "effortless." To enhance the poem's impact, consider incorporating a wider range of descriptive language to capture the complexity and depth of the speaker
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
Wed, 2023-11-08 13:48
Church Hall Confession
Hello, Finn,
Welcome to Neopoet! Love this title - it brought me in, and I was so glad. It leaves me feeling that these beautiful words are spoken confidentially to a holy being, but not to the object of your affection. "Angelic aura" - how beloved! Elegant language throughout this revealing poem. You may want to try a more vertical form that may make it a bit easier for the reader to follow, and there may be a few words that are unnecessary.
Thank you, and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Lavender
Alex Tanner
Sat, 2023-11-11 09:44
Who.
Who are you addressing. Enigmatic. I enjoyed this piece. As Lavender has said a more vertical layout may help readers but as a retired actor I found it a nice easy and expressive piece to read. Alex