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Castle of Light
Our castle is filled with jewels and crystal chandeliers.
Lasers flash on and off heightening my senses and fears.
Rainbows of light bounce off the white plaster dome.
In the morning, the sun light reflects off all the chrome.
The crystal prisms spin and flash colors so bright.
Like all fantasies, this dream is just God’s light.
I close my eyes and you are always in my sight.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
swamp-witch
Sat, 2017-03-18 17:43
Hey U.W.,
The imagery in this poem reminds me of a cathedral more than a castle! It's also a tiny bit psychedelic and ethereal, with flashing lights and glistening colors, isn't it?
I am interested in learning the inspiration behind this poem. Like I said, it makes me think of a cathedral, especially with the final couplet's statement about God, but otherwise, I'm not sure what God is supposed to signify in the poem, because you've actually called this place a castle. I would love to hear your thoughts so I can say something more about the poem.
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